Early Saturday evening I decided to call the restaurant in advance. I had already told M that I may need to call them to discuss the menu. A little background on me…If you have not worked it out already I am a little quirky, one of those endearing (or not) quirks is that I have major issues with texture…You see I have sensory perception disorder which was not diagnosed as a child. My parents saw me as an odd child who was extraordinarily “fussy” with food and they unwittingly inflicted incredible trauma on me. I can never order directly of a menu and always have to make changes. If you want a taste of what I am like go to You Tube and search “Sally order”…Impossible though it may seem I am generally worse than that…When I called the restaurant to discuss their menu I discovered they were closed Sunday night!
M had originally given me 3 choices of restaurants, I thought never mind I will choose one of the others and will let M know the change of venue. One of them was also closed on Sundays and when I looked at the menu of the 3rd restaurant there was not a single item on the entire menu that I could order…Seriously, I am not kidding you! Not even the Sally ordering style was going to get me out of this one!
I started searching in earnest for other fine dining restaurants and every single one of them was closed. What the heck, why?…just tell me this, why are all the fine dining restaurants closed on Sundays? I mean seriously, don’t people with a refined palate have to eat?? Maybe this is the day they think “ah to hell with it” and go through the drive through at Burger king!!
This left me in quite a quandary and honestly if I wasn’t a totally quirky, fun loving, batshit crazy, sexually tense, completely eccentric, woman of 50, who desperately wanted sex I would have cancelled the date!!!
So this is where I had to have one of those extremely awkward conversations and explain to M why, we cannot go to the only open fine dining restaurant in town unless he is okay with me ordering a side of lettuce for both my appetizer and entree!!
M, gracious as ever, was very supportive of my food foibles and together we found a restaurant that while not quite the intimate fine dining experience we were looking for, would at least provide some decent food and wine!
Unless someone has an extreme phobia about something completely and utterly ridiculous I don’t think they can truly appreciate just what it took out of me to admit to M that dining in that restaurant was not an option. I would imagine that admitting to a normal phobia such as spiders, snakes, heights etc is a lot easier than having to admit to a ridiculous phobia such as textures……Unless…..your phobia about spiders is so extreme you cannot sit in a restaurant for fear that there may be a spider hanging out under the table waiting to crawl on your leg….well in that case then you would know just how I feel and you’re as batshit crazy as I am!!!
All the drama is over, I am still going on my date and I all can think of is my fucking shoes and how hell am I going get around that one!!