The date of the century!! Oh, actually half a century, I’m only 50!

Finally, it is time for the date! throughout the day it seemed like it would never get here but at other times it felt like I was on fast forward and it was getting here too fast. I am a complete and total mess of nerves, sexual tension, apprehension, excitement…You name it and I am pretty fucking sure I am feeling it! I spent the entire day hovering between wanting to cancel the date and just wanting to get it over it. Most people who know me, and know me well, understand that I am very good at trying to sabotage things. Fortunately I have a good friend who spent the entire day responding to my rambling text message in all the right ways…Even those ones where I begged her to go on the date for me and tell him that she posted a fake picture and changed her mind and did not want a date after all!!!

I get there too early, because that is what I do, so I sit in my car and read my kindle making absolutely sure to read the same lines 5 times over. I parked my car between two big trucks so that I could see when M turned up but would be harder for him to see me. I watched him arrive and get out of his very cute red car…Shoot! he has a cute car, why oh why can’t he have some stupid ass truck, it would make it so much easier not to like him if he drove a truck!

M looks briefly around the car park, does not see me so starts walking towards the restaurant. I get out of my car and lock it, M hears the beeps and turns, see’s me and walks across the car park to meet me. We exchange a very brief and slightly awkward hug and then head in to the restaurant. M looks exactly like his profile photos so no surprises there. We are seated in a secluded table in the corner where we then spend the next 3 plus hours having a fabulous time, the food was mediocre, the wine was good but the conversation was engaging, stimulating and free flowing.

After dinner we looked at the dessert menu and I decided to try the chocolate mousse cake while M declined to order dessert. The cake that came out was enormous and it sat on the largest dinner plate I have ever seen…it also came with two forks….Usually at this point I would do my “Sally” routine and ask for a knife and extra plate, because I NEVER share knives, forks, spoons, drinks, food or saliva, so yes, that means NO open, tongue in mouth kissing…ick!!….But for some reason, which I simply cannot explain, I picked up my fork and before I even knew what was going to come out of my mouth I invited M to share the dessert with me…then we began eating the cake together, off the same plate. I am enjoying the cake and the conversation and the sharing but inside my head my inner bitch is saying “who the fuck are you and what did you do with Jad” Hell, I have never in my life even allowed my own children to share food of my plate let alone someone I just met 2 hours ago!! It was just so bizarre! Is this what sexual tension does to you?

After dessert we continued talking and a couple of times I noticed M put his hand on the table close to my side, I am not good at dating, after all this is my first one, and I am pretty shitty at taking queues but after the 3rd time I am wondering if we are supposed to hold hands. It seemed too much like a juvenile thing to do so I figured I was reading the queues wrong but just in case I decided to lay my hand on the table. Well I guess I got the queue right after all, albeit a little late because no sooner did my hand land there on the table M took my hand in his and there we sat talking and holding hands. All of a sudden it did not seem so juvenile after all. Occasionally M would gently caress the side of my hand with his thumb, something which sent shivers tingling through my body. I knew then I was in deep shit!!

M excused himself to go to the restroom and when he came back he informed me the restaurant was closed, I turned around to see it was completely empty aside from a small crew of staff who were cleaning. It didn’t take us long to figure out it was time to leave though I admit I was sad the date was coming to an end.

M walked me to my car and from there, I am really not sure how it happened but the next thing I knew we were kissing, not just a peck on the cheek, not a kiss on the hand, no soft fleeting kiss on the lips…this was open, tongue in mouth full on kissing!! M is a full foot taller than me and even with my heels there was quite a difference in our heights yet damned if I wasn’t reaching up for those kisses as much as he was reaching down for them!

I had NO idea, no fucking clue, that a kiss could be so sensual. It was like every nerve ending in my body was alive and sending sparks all through me….yes… even the nether regions!!! who knows how long we stood in the car park kissing, not only did I lose track of time I even lost track of where I was! At some point we broke apart enough for M to invite me back to his house for coffee….I so badly wanted that coffee, it was there, just within reach…I could almost taste it!!!
But then I kept thinking “I haven’t told M about the shoes”!!! I politely declined the offer of coffee and said I really must go, I took one step towards my car and I have no fucking clue how it happened but there we were kissing again…One final offer of coffee from M and a final polite decline from me and I made it into my car.

I followed M’s car out of the car park towards my home. I was surprised that I could even hold it together to drive, the turmoil that was going on inside me and the crazy conversation I was having with my inner bitch made concentration difficult…Also it seemed we lived in the same general direction. I continued to follow M’s car and the temptation to just follow him all the way to his place was overwhelming, one block before my street M turned off….so tempting, but again, all I had to do was think about shoes and the temptation to follow him home went away.

So that was the end of my first ever date for this totally quirky, fun loving, batshit crazy, sexually tense, completely eccentric woman who’s ridiculous “foot phobia” ruined what could have been a perfect ending!!!

7 thoughts on “The date of the century!! Oh, actually half a century, I’m only 50!

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