The date that never did!

So I am hanging around my apartment totally naked hoping my razor burn will go away when I get a text message from M, he is tied up at work and will not be able to make our date but is hoping we can get together later.

I don’t quite know how I feel about that, part of me is relieved that I am not going to have to sit in a restaurant and try to make small talk with someone whom I had amazing sex with but barely know but the other part of me feels a little dejected. I try to look on the bright side and think “oh well more time for my razor burn to clear up!!”

After a couple of hours with no follow up text from M I decide to keep my original plans and go to the restaurant and eat on my own.
Halfway through eating I received a text from M that he was finally home but he needed some time to chill, he had been on the go for over 12 straight hours and just needed some time to unwind. I took that to mean he needed to take a shower and freshen up, but hell I am new to dating so what the heck do I know!!

We exchanged some lighthearted text messages with some slight sexual undertones and he then texted me “eat your food” and I took that to mean he was going in the shower…but again, what the hell do I know!!
It’s kind of boring eating on your own in a restaurant so I did not linger, as soon as I finished eating I paid my check and headed home.

Once home, a quick check on my razor burn and I was relieved to see that it had mostly faded although there was no mistaking that something had gone on down there!!
I had only just slipped off my dress and settled on my bed to read my book when I got a text from M that he was good to go and did I want him to come and meet me for a drink or did I want to head over there when I was done….So now it was decision time!!

When I started this journey one of the things that I was clear about in my own mind is that for the next 12 months what I did not want a string of nameless, faceless sexual partners. Clearly I knew that I wanted sex but I also wanted some companionship and friendship with a consistent person for the time I had left in the United States…If I chose to go to M’s house then I had to admit to myself that it was all about the sex.

Fortunately or unfortunately depending on perspective I made the decision to go to M’s house…. For sex!

4 thoughts on “The date that never did!

  1. Sometimes our decisions or choices, as well as how we later perceive them or others interpret them… are neither right OR wrong. They just are. And be grateful for either the learned experience OR the euphoria OR the pain.

    But know… you are very much ALIVE!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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