Well, its not really a secret because there is a few people that know about it…um technically it’s not really dirty either…I guess it is not really a dirty little secret after all but hey, it caught your eye so its all good!!
Clearly from my last sexual experience with M the shoes were just not working and I had to find some way to lose them.
Let me explain a little bit to you about my “foot” phobia. It is all related to my sensory perception disorder and textures. I cannot tolerate almost anything touching my feet, bed sheets and carpet being the two worst things. To add insult to injury I cannot stand hearing the sound of other peoples feet touching bed sheets or carpet so the temptation to ask M to wear socks during sex was overwhelming however I managed to suppress that urge.
My phobia is so bad that the few occasions in my life that I have needed surgery I have had to speak to the surgeon and explain that I will need to wear my socks and slippers into the operating theater. For the last 25 plus years I have worn both socks and slippers to bed every single night, no exceptions. I am never without shoes on my feet and I always wear nylons or socks with my shoes. The only time my feet are naked is when I shower and even then the temptation to wear waterproof shoes is again overwhelming but I manage to restrain myself…..see I told you I was bat shit crazy and you didn’t believe me!!
Recent events have helped me to understand that if I am going to continue down this path of casual dating I am going to have to find a way to get over my phobia…after all how awkward would it be if I have to continue to having the “shoe conversation”
From my first date with M I knew I had it within me to get over this phobia. As I said I always wear nylons or socks. Most times I wear those hideous knee highs that remind me of my former neighbors Greek mother who wore them even when she wore a dress above her knee so you could always see the tops of the stockings…..I just knew that would be me one day! Hideous!!
Again I digress…seems to be something I do often..anyway getting back to the story… I was preparing for my date with M and even though I was not planning on sex happening on the first date I wanted to feel sexy and I just did not know how I could possibly achieve that by wearing either knee high, thigh high or even full style stockings so I spent the day practicing wearing shoes without socks or nylons. In the morning I went shopping and I wore a pair of sneakers without socks. I found it irritating and annoying and I carried socks in my purse just in case but I managed to last the entire morning. I then spent the remainder of the day wearing a pair of wedges with no socks or nylons and again while I often thought of it I managed to make it through the day….The end result was that I was able to go on my date with M wearing a cute little dress that sat just above the knee and a pair of wedges minus socks or stockings, I felt daring and sexy and it was exhilarating!
Slowly over the next couple of weeks I have been able to achieve what I never thought was possible and I have been able to wear shoes minus the stockings or socks. My next step was to be able to wear a pair of just casual slip on sandals with no backs to them. I bought a cute little pair of sandals that fit the bill and wore them to work for the entire day. I had a back up pair of shoes with me just in case but I did not need them and once again I was successful.
Probably what is the most astounding of all achievements is that I had a pedicure…Yes!!! Can you believe it I had a fucking pedicure and I actually LET someone touch my feet. My shoes were off for an entire hour. None of my friends or family believed me and I had to actually send a photo as proof. While it was not the most enjoyable, or the most traumatic experience of my life it was certainly a bipolar experience…On the one hand I was totally elated and felt liberated that I could actually do this and on the other hand completely horrified and mortified that someone was actually touching my feet…At the end of the day though, I managed to achieve what I thought was the impossible and it was with a great sense of pride that I drove home from the Nail spa with my cute little pretty painted toes!!