After unblocking M I had about a week before he got back from his business trip to try and work my shit out and decide exactly what I wanted to do.
It did not take me long to come to the understanding that I honestly did not think it was going to be possible to have an ongoing sexual relationship, particularly an extremely satisfying one with just one consistent person and not form some kind of emotional attachment…The “queen of denial” finally accepted this fact and she got down from her throne and took off so now it was back to just me and the “inner bitch” (who never goes away)!!
I figured I would let M know that although I had previously indicated that I planned only being sexually active with one person at a time I was going to have to renege on that deal and give him the option of remaining as one of my casual dating partners or opting out….I did hope that if he decided to opt out that we would have amazing, sensual, exhilarating sex just one more time!!
I then spent the next 7 days fishing around in the murky ponds of POF…I listed my short list of “catches” in a previous post but there really is only a couple of serious contenders. My biggest problem is that before I can consider a “romp in the hay” there has to be an intellectual connection and sadly a lot of the fish who message me are unable to speak in complete sentences or have a limited vocabulary of 3 and 4 letter words. Many of the men who send me a message never get past the small talk stage.
So now having made the decision to play the field I am confident I can keep emotions out of it and keep my self esteem in tact…I want to have my cake and eat it too and what the hell I am 50 and from now on I make the rules so there is absolutely no reason why I cannot have it all!!
Progress!
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Hmmmm… this is a fantastic attitude and approach Jad!!! Bravo! However…
Do the emotions REALLY have to be left at the front door? Always? 🤔
And I realize that I’m reading these posts as if they are up-to-date when they are actually from August last year! LOL Okay…
…turning the page… ❤
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I am reading another blog of someones online dating journey in the same manner so I know exactly what it is like to read something that has happened over a year ago. There are times I am rooting for her to decide one way even though I know in the end she chose another way LOL.
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easier said than done huh?
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Exactly!!
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Pingback: To play or not to play, that is the question??? — Sensuality, Sex & Something else – phicklephilly
My daughter is going through the same thing. Recently divorced she has found one that is willing to share, though more and more they are trimming that down. Personally, I don’t and do get it. I’m old fashion being from a generation with it’s archaic baggage. A part of me understands the cool calculated logic of the gen x-ers. I like the comfort and warmth of having just one partner when it comes to sex, but understand the need for a kindred spirit, someone you can commune with intellectually or that fill multiple cubbies. The reality is one size doesn’t fit all. I’m sure they probably feel the same way about us.
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you might as well stick to one person at a time cause no matter who you choose to have sex with there will be an emotional attachment…
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True George…No truer words spoken!! I discovered fairly quickly that there was an emotional attachment with anything other than a one night stand!!
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