Why oh why the fuck can I not sleep….it eludes me at every turn!! Seriously if I was not already batshit crazy I would be by fucking now!!
Let me share some history for you…I have always been the an amazing sleeper, most times as soon as my bedroom light was out and my head hit the pillow that’s it…asleep!!
My only criteria for sleeping is that I need to be horizontal, quiet and dark is preferred but not essential!
Dreaming was one of my favorite pastimes, I think I have always liked sleeping so much because I love dreaming. Hell where the fuck else can you have amazing imaginary experiences like dreams….For free!!…It’s like going to the fucking movies every night except you don’t have to pay for the movie…the only downside is you don’t get to eat popcorn.
But alas! since starting this crazy roller coaster ride of a journey that I am on, sleep eludes me!! It’s like, I can see the sleep, taste the sleep, reach for sleep but can’t fucking get to sleep!!! If….and I mean If, I am lucky enough to finally fall asleep it is not a real sleep, it is just pretend. I no longer dream, and because it is only fake sleep it does not last long so I am usually wide awake 2-3 hours later wondering how the fuck can I make this night end so I can stop wasting my fucking time laying in this bed trying to do the impossible!!!
Now for those who think I am exaggerating…which is probably all of you!! I am going to provide hard core evidence of what this fucking journey has done to my sleep!!
How so you ask, well I have this magic little device called a fit bit which tracks my sleep.
So lets look at my sleep stats BEFORE the discover of sex
Remember there was some Jet-lag that has to be accounted for so this is a few days before getting on the plane.
July 1st – 9:42
July 2nd – 10:05
July 3rd – 8:04
July 4th – 11:08
July 5th – 7:21
July 6th – 8:29
I know, I was fucking spoiled right!! I was on vacation so hell I could sleep as much as I wanted and some nights I sure did take advantage of that…even though I no longer remember I am pretty sure I had some fricken awesome dreams.
Lets take a look at the week after my return home, which includes the jet lag
July 8th – 12:26
July 9th – 8:04
July 10th – 8:54
July 11th – 8:45
July 12th – 7:55
July 13th – 7:08
July 14th – 6:58
Getting the picture so far, I was a master of sleep!! Even with dreadful Jet lag I still managed to get a good 7 hours of sleep albeit sometimes it was broken up through out the day/night but none the less, it was sleep!! And again, the dreams…fucking amazing!!
Now take a look at what my life has become!!
August 3rd – 1:43
August 4th -3:03
August 5th – 3:35
August 6th – 4:34
August 7th – 6:13
August 8th – 5:39
August 9th – 2:49
So this is why I am sitting here in the middle of the fucking night writing in my damned blog!! I have sat here for the last few hours fart arsing around on Google, checking my Facebook, pissing around on You tube because sleep eludes me!!
It is currently 4 am and my alarm is set to go off in a couple of hours…I am going to submit this post then go crawl back to my bed and turn my alarm off….because honestly who the fuck needs it with my sleep pattern!! I will pretend to sleep for the next couple of hours and then I will get out of bed around 6 am totally pissed off at all the time I wasted laying there when I could have been doing something useful……Like having SEX!!!!!