I was going through my last week or so of blogs and realized dear readers you must all be so totally fucking confused. So this begs the question, why the fuck didn’t any of you tell me that somewhere along the line I missed writing a post about where the fuck is M2 and why did I hook back up with M1?? Either you really don’t give a shit or you just accept that I am a slightly quirky, fun loving, bat shit crazy fucking forgetful bitch who just turned 50 and figured I would get to it at some point!!
Well here is the update, firstly on the Saturday evening I sent an email to M2 which was a LOT of information, quite frankly too much information and one of those situations where I really should have employed my filter but I did not. The response from M2 really did not resolve my questions/issues however now when I re-read the email I realize there was a whole lot of bullshit and mumbo jumbo in my email but no fucking straight out question so I guess M2 could be excused for his lack of answer. I sent him a message on PoF to let him know that while I really like him I did not think our needs were congruous to each others and that we should just remain friends (no benefits). He responded with an okay to my message and then he blocked me on PoF. I sent a text message asking if he blocked me and quite frankly if I had waited for a response I would have received a completely plausible explanation.
Personally in hindsight it makes sense to me, the online dating world should be private, on PoF once you have had a contact with someone they see when your online, if they look at your profile and all kinds of stuff that could be awkward for someone you had a casual sexual relationship with and then no longer were in a casual relationship so it was perfectly reasonable for M2 to block me…..however my drunken mind did not see that as reasonable!
After my drunken beer rampage on Sunday evening and the completely inappropriate text messages and emails that I sent to M2 there was no going back from that….I mean seriously, when a text message starts with “what are you 5?” and the email starts with “I know I should not be sending this when I have had a few beers but what the hell”…..You know they are not going to be good text messages or emails. I am completely mortified and embarrassed at my uncouth and quite frankly unwarranted behavior not just with M2 but with all of the havoc I created that evening. So, even though I apologized, ate crow and apologized again, and even though M2 said he forgave me I believed that was the last I would ever see of him, particularly when my offer of an in person apology over coffee was responded to with a message questioning if he needed to wear his bullet proof vest and does he need to be concerned with me slipping something in his tea. As well as a follow up message from him reminding him not to piss off the Aussie gal!
So here I was back to the drawing board again, I had re-established my weekly sex date with M1 with a much clearer understanding within myself that playing with M1 truly was all about sex and did not even need to bother with dinner or drinks etc
I revamped my profile on PoF once again deciding that I needed to find ONE person who could casually date culminating with sex 2 -3 times a week. Someone who is willing to do that and not invest anything emotionally because at the end of the day the relationship is over when I go home.
I also decided that I would continue to “play” with M1 just for the sex unless I found a compatible sex partner for the duration and sharing was a “no go” for them, as long as they would be willing and able to fulfill my needs I would give up M1
So there we have it, this is why I went back to fishing in the murky scummy waters of PoF!!