While fishing in the bottom of the murky ponds of PoF I came across R, he lived in a pond a little further away than the ones I usually fished in but I was getting desperate so decided to explore other ponds within a reasonable travel vicinity.
R seemed to be intelligent enough, we had some interesting conversations and we were able to move past the small talk pretty quickly so it made sense to arrange a date. Originally we were supposed to meet on Sunday but after spending Thursday evening chatting online for a couple of hours then neither of us getting much sleep that night and blaming each other we decided to change the date for Friday night and get it out of the way.
All day I felt weird about the date but I could not define what the problem was, I mentioned my weird feeling to a couple of my coworkers, in fact one of them suggested I cancel the date if I felt so uneasy but I did not want to, particularly because I could not define what or where the unease was coming from.
One of the things I did think about was what if this date was going to lead to sex, he lives too far away for me to drive to his house and I really am not comfortable with anyone coming here even if I did have a real fucking bed now!!. I talked to my friend and came up with a plan, if there was a chance that he did come back here I would take a photo of his drivers license and license plates and send them to her for safety. Was I seriously considering first date sex again? Am I so desperate that I am back on that fucking path , oh lordy there is just no fucking hope for me…. I am a lost cause!
Again, dressing carefully for the date I meet R at the designated restaurant and it hits me almost immediately, there is absolutely ZERO and I mean ZERO physical attraction and while I don’t mean to be rude I actually kind of felt repelled rather than attracted. It was then that the light bulb in my head went off and I realized what all my unease was about. I clearly knew from his photos I was not attracted to him and I believe subconsciously I was considering sleeping with someone that I might not feel attracted to just for the sake of having sex and I think the unease was more the feeling I had for myself over that type of choice, probably my inner bitch was doing a cheer-leader dance in my stomach waving those fucking pom pom things around making me feel queasy….Anyway I am pretty happy to say I had no inclination AT ALL to sleep with R from the instant that I met him and that feeling was only reiterated ten fold when I caught a whiff of his breath and saw his badly rotting teeth. I honestly do not know what the fuck I was thinking when I set the date up in the first place….Maybe this is similar to what they say about guys in their 20s that they think with the head on their penis instead of the head on their shoulders……fuck..scary shit if I am thinking with my puny little clitoris….oh dear was that TMI?…..ha ha, deal with it!!
So still thinking with clearly NO brains at all I arrange a date with you guessed it another R, and I am not shitting you folks they both have the same fucking name, surely this cannot be a bad omen…Fuck!! I should have listened to omens.
I mean look at all the dates I have been on, the only 2 that I moved to the next level with both had the same name, M….so now, please let history be recorded that my 2 worst dates ever both have the same name, R which happens to be the masculine version of my middle name….which I hate!! Ain’t that fucking scary!!
My date with the 2nd R was set up as a rebound date, I mean seriously once a week sex just was not going to be enough and while I keep making threats about getting reacquainted with my vibrator it is not a step I am ready to take just quite yet because then I would have to admit to myself that I am doomed to spend the rest of my life sexless 😦
So in keeping up with my trend of bad judgment a date was made with R and the clues….and there were many that should have triggered me to know this was a bad idea were completely ignored!!
R is an idiot savant, I am deadly serious and I mean it in the nicest possible way, he clearly has Autism or Asperger’s, he is intelligent and has some wit but he also lives on SSI and the extra money he gets selling his plasma twice a week. He can speak very intelligently about a whole range of subjects that are extremely uninteresting to the average person and he never at anytime looked at me when he was talking, he was actually speaking to some random spot off to his left, possible a piece of food on the floor, who knows really!!……Honestly, I could not get out of there fast enough although…..I did appreciate him letting me know that while he has a bad back injury “all of his adult bedroom things work fine” Ummmmmm NO!!! Did I ever consider it? maybe for around 0.095 seconds, possibly, hey!! I am a sex starved nymphomaniac what do you expect? I had to at least consider it no matter how fleetingly!! I mean really maybe he is a savant in the bedroom, who knows….I just know I never want to be the one to find out!!
So just as a final word and so you are not all caught unawares, along with my disaster dates I had a difficult memorial service to attend for someone I worked with who sadly committed suicide. I had communicated with M2 earlier in the day as he also knew this person and during the texting I told him of my first disaster date.
Then, during disaster date number two I texted M2 again, I actually wanted to text him the word “HELP” but as he has the means to, I was afraid he might actually turn up either in his full assault gear or a Ninja costume. Both of which would be been okay, though they have the potential to cause some difficult questions or embarrassment so I settled for a simple text message letting him know this date was worst than the date the day before!!
After a pretty shitty weekend so far I thought things cannot get any fucking worse and I have nothing to lose so I asked M2 if I could come over for coffee, vodka or conversation. I mean really the worst he could do is say no, right?