Ugh…..I am dying!! I am seriously suffering from a condition called lack of nookieitis!!
Before I had my surgery the doctor told me no sexual activity for 4 – 6 weeks, I guess I focused only on the (4) weeks so when I went for my post surgery check up on Friday at almost (4) weeks I was expected to be cleared for sex….No such luck!! I mean fuck!! For real!!! He told me I have to wait until (6) weeks after surgery and NOT a day before!! He was extremely adamant on that fact.
I did ask my General practitioner at my one week check up to define sexual activity and she was very graphic using her hands for display to say “nothing” in the hole!! So….I could have oral sex and clitoral stimulation but NO penetration of any kind.
Now I hear you say “what the fuck is she complaining about”….I mean I can still have some kind of sexual activity..right?!! Well see that is the thing, I do not trust myself not to get carried away in the heat of the moment so basically I have abstained….well almost I kind of sorta strayed a little bit but technically it really was not straying and anyway that is another story for another time…I have abstained and I am suffering terribly!!
Today my regular guy (R)……what? you don’t know who R is, well what the fuck!!! Why have I never told you about (R)…Shit, okay that is 2 stories I owe you….well anyway today my regular guy (R) and I talked about just meeting up today for some “Hanky Panky” without “penetration”, we started planning it and then we started talking about it and then we both decided that neither of us have enough self control not to “fuck like rabbits” especially since it has been over 4 weeks for both of us so we decided to not risk it!! So here I sit on a Sunday afternoon suffering from a severe case of “lack of nookieitis” and wondering how the fuck I am going to get through the next 17 days….yep you can bet the fuck I am counting them!!
While the surgery was most definitely worth while and I would do it again in a heart beat I still think the abstaining is cruel and unusual torture especially for a fun loving, slightly quirky, batshit crazy and totally completely fucking horny woman who loves being 50!!!