I have a bucket list….It is the most incredible bucket list in the world…way better than most peoples because I am actually checking things off my list…If ya didn’t notice flying last week was one of the items on my bucket list…CHECK!!
Another item on my bucket list was to go to Mardi Gras….not just any Mardi Gras, THE Mardi Gras in New Orleans!!!!! CHECK!!!
It was time for another Thelma and Louise adventure except this time we decided to take Louise’s husband MrT…..I mean seriously, this was Mardi Gras, there was going to be drinking and debauchery…Two woman in Bourbon St during Mardi Gras need a protector and MrT fit the role perfectly!
Mardi Gras was absofrickenamazing!! I have been to Bourbon street during the day with Terry, my Mum and my Son and was not impressed…Bourbon Street in the evening during Mardi Gras with your drinking buddies is a whole new fucking world let me tell ya!
Let me back track a little though, before we hit Bourbon street we went to the Casino near our hotel where Louise won a nice little amount on her machine which required a hand pay, I was so excited for her I had never seen anyone that I personally know win like that so it was thrilling for me…..But it did end up a little frustrating because EVERYWHERE we went MrT took out his wallet and paid for it all, the beer, the food EVERYTHING and when I say EVERYTHING I mean it ALL!!
See we walked past this strip club and Louise was telling me that they went in there last year and it was not very nice, I asked about what goes on in them and both Louise and MrT were shocked to find out that I had never been in a strip club in my life…..let me tell you what happened next was almost indescribable….I checked shit off my bucket list that I had no fucking idea was even on my fucking bucket list….but there ya have it!!! What?….You want to know what shit I checked off? Hmmmm well you see ordinarily what happens in New Orleans stays in New Orleans…..No no it is true, Vegas is not the only place that gets that privilege but what the fuck since you asked so nicely I will tell you all about it!!
After discovering that I had never been in a strip club MrT decided to remedy that, a $5 cover charge each which MrT took out his wallet and paid for and before I knew it I was walking into my first ever strip club. MrT was the man!!! Walking into the strip club accompanied by two hot sexy woman….Strippers, no no, it was me and Louise, we were the two hot sexy woman…really we were!! Just ask MrT 🙂
Anyway it was just like you see at the movies, there was a raised dance floor with a stripper pole on it and a young girl with an incredible body was dancing on it…Fuck if I ever had a body like that during anytime in my life I probably would have showed it off every fucking chance I got too!! The girls would dance for 2 or 3 songs and then a new girl would swap places with them. MrT took a dollar out of his wallet folded it long ways and tried to give it to me so I could go slip it in one of the girls G-strings, no fucking way was I doing that!! After a time MrT got up to go to the bar to get more drinks, he was there quite some time and we saw him chatting up one of the strippers at the bar, Louise and I giggled about it and she said “you cant take him anywhere” He came back with the beers and the stripper he was talking to came back to our table with him, she pointed at my purse on my lap and said I would need to move it….really? what the fuck???
Yep, he sure did, MrT paid for a fucking lap dance!! I had NO clue what to do with my hands during this ummmm dance so I just held them in the air and watched helplessly as this young girl smooshed her body against mine, it might have been incredibly erotic except I had never experienced anything like this in my life and my little drunken brain did not know how to process what was happening except just to let it all play out!! I had breasts rubbed into my face, a body rubbed along me and the young girl grabbed my boobs several times and gave them a little jiggle…good thing I was wearing my sexy push up bra!!!
All I can say is….what an experience!! Another bucket list check mark!!! Never fucking thought a lap dance by a young sexy girl was on my bucket list but there it was!!…..Only trouble is NOW I have to add lap dance by hot sexy MAN to my bucket list…..I wonder if MrT will let Louise join me on that adventure?
Louise and I did ended up sitting at the pole and slipping a few dollars in girls G-strings…..just to say we did it ya know!! Oh and Louise got her boob grabbed by my lap dance girl just so she did not feel left out 🙂
Next up was beads for boobs!! Now this was a bucket list item and though I had gone beyond the point of shit faced drunk and was starting to sober up a little I still really wanted to get some beads for boobs. I had a whole bunch of free beads from the parades but to get the really good beads you need to bare your breasts and the thing that was bothering me was that do these guys on the balconies throwing out their beads really want to see a 50 year old’s boobs especially where there were a lot of 20 somethings flashing away….Eventually after a lot of encouragement from Louise and MrT I did my thing too and gave them a good old viewing and was rewarded with a beautiful chain of golden beads!! Bucket list item CHECK!!!
After more drinking, some dancing in a little by the way bar and some very greasy fried food it was time to head back to the hotel. While Louise and MrT started getting ready for bed I went out to my car to make a phone call to Sir and when I returned was informed by Louise that pizza was coming…..Pizza..WTF, who orders pizza when you are getting ready for bed and have just spent the last 10 hours drinking….Holy fuck!! that was the best fucking pizza I have ever eaten in my life and I do not even like meat lovers pizza!!!
The next day we left the debauchery of New Orleans behind us and headed to our next destination Baton Rouge….Once checked in to our rooms I hit the Casino while Louise took a nap….a short time later Louise thought she was missing out on fun so she gave up on the nap and came down to the Casino…I told Louise I was already down a couple of hundred which was a lot for me as I usually have a $100 a day gambling budget but I had not spent hardly anything the day before so what the heck!!
After a few sex on the beach I had a nice little buzz going, I had a couple of wins so I was back up to even money and was playing on a machine and I hit a jackpot….I am not fucking kidding!! I won $915.13….All for a 50 cent bet!! I was so fucking excited I was doing a little dance at the machine to the rhythm of the winning music !!!! Bucket list item CHECK!!
And it did not end there, I broke up my 5 hour drive home by stopping at another Casino fuck me dead if I did not win another fucking nice little payout. This time it was $482.50.
I came home from our New Orleans adventure with $1320 in my wallet and a whole bunch of things checked off my bucket list…what a fucking amazing time!!!
Thanks Louise and MrT…..
Oh and Louise…..Lets take MrT more often!!