This cursed fucking hair!!!

If you read the word “cursed” in this blog title as one syllable then you read it wrong for the sake of this blog…..Please read it as two syllables CUR- SAID…it is important to the emotion of this post so if you read it incorrectly please go back and read it again!!! I am serious, don’t fuck with me!! Go back and read it correctly!! You did it?? Good moving on….

Hair, it is fucking cursed (now you can read as one syllable) To start with we all have unwanted body hair which is a fucking pain in the arse to get rid of because the fucking stuff keeps coming back. I mean seriously it is like fucking housework, you spend all that fucking time doing it and making it look nice only to have to fucking do it again the very next day….seriously what a TWOFT!!…..There was a lot of fucks in that paragraph, even for me, can you tell that I am frustrated!!

How is it that those men who shave their crown jewels end up with smooth soft silky balls despite the fact that have a lumpy bumpy area to shave and I end up looking like I have a severe allergy or case of acne when I shave my bikini line no matter how carefully I do it or what method I use…..And forget about when shaving the fucking vajayjay!! I can be so careful and detail orientated and it still ends up feeling like a mans chin with a 3 day growth!! I know it is not razors they used because I spent $30 fucking dollars on some top of the line MANS razors!!

But actually it is not my bikini line or nether regions that have sparked this rant….It is the hair on my head!!
For as long as I can remember I have HATED my hair, it could not decide if it wanted to be straight or curly so it was wavy, I mean seriously, who the fuck wants wavy hair!! It also could not decide if it wanted to be brown, blonde or black so it was mousy brown, again fucking mousy brown!! Who wants that!!
Mostly because I really put no effort into my presentation overall I paid very little special attention to my hair and honestly just kept it washed and brushed most of the time occasionally trying different things but usually generally giving up and putting it in the too hard basket.

Since starting my new journey at the age of 50 I finally discovered a style and color for my hair that was “perfectly me”!! I mean seriously, I found a curling iron that was so easy even I could use it and a color that suited me perfectly. Never before in my life had ANYONE compliment my hair but all of a sudden I was receiving compliments ALL of the time and not just on the dating websites. I would walk through the mall and complete strangers, men and woman would come up to me and comment on my hair. I have to tell you it was exhilarating and incredibly ego boosting and while I do not think I became totally vain about my hair I think in some regards I was, I went from hating having my photo taken to becoming a self confessed selfie addict and my new found hairstyle and hair color was a strong contributor….But Karma is a bitch and I am now being punished in the most cruel way for my vanity and all I can say dear readers is be careful what you fucking wish for!!!

All my life I wished that my hair was not so thick and bushy, while my actual hair strands are “fine” I have  SO much fucking hair on my head that it was uncontrollable, often even impossible to fit neatly in a ponytail, plait or braid. I have always been envious of people who had smooth silky straight hair and while I could achieve that effect with a flat iron honestly who the fuck has time for that shit!! I did discover a flat iron brush last year and began using that daily and was happy with the effects but still, I desired less hair. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted my LONG hair, I just did not want my THICK head of hair!!

Again my friends…be careful what you fucking wish for!!
As a result of my surgery…..which by the way no medical expert has told me it is from the surgery, it just all fits….but anyway as a result of my surgery I am losing my hair….by the fucking handful…..Great clumps fall out in the shower…I have even had to  resort to brushing my hair in the bathtub so I don’t end up with hair all over my bathroom floor.

Do you want to know how much fucking hair I have lost……I had a selfie of me wearing some lingerie which was taken about maybe 3 months ago, it was a sexy little number that had completely open breasts and even though the selfie was just for myself (really it was) I wanted it to be semi decent so I strategically placed my hair over my breasts before taking the photo…..Since then I have not had my hair cut, not even a fucking millimeter yet my hair barely covers my shoulders anymore and there is no way it is covering my tits!! Pretty soon I am going to be bald!!

It has thinned out incredibly and I now have the EXACT fucking hair I wished for ALL my fucking life and I DON’T want it!!! I want my lovely thick luxurious hair back!!

About the only good thing about my hair as it stands today is that it takes ZERO work or effort, I baby it a little with hair care products trying to keep whats left but other than that I shower in the morning, comb it and done!!.

So again…….be careful what you wish for because you just might get it and it just might not be what you want after all!!

By the way I know it is finally starting to grow back because the dang fucking grey is poking through and while I am babying it I cannot color it so pretty soon I am going to need a fucking wig!!!

2 thoughts on “This cursed fucking hair!!!

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