I am back in Kentucky and I find myself in that situation that I have been avoiding since day one even though, lets face it, we all knew with my nymphomaniac urges at some point it would be inevitable!!
I have come really close a few times, even in the early days, going from M1 to MPrime then back to M1 but each time I finished with one before going to the other so technically it was not really bed hopping…..Okay it probably was but really and truthfully who gives a fuck!!
The answer is me!! I give a fuck! There has always been a part of me that is just not comfortable with the multiple sex partners thing. I never wanted this adventure to be… “Lets see how many Americans I can fuck” but unfortunately we can’t always get what we want and it kinda sorta worked out that way…I can say DILLIGAF all I want but if I did I am not being honest with myself or this blog…Stupidly there is part of me that feels like I have to justify my many different sexual experiences with my many different sexual partners even though the intelligent part of me knows that I am doing nothing wrong….Ethically, morally, legally or otherwise!!!
Enough of my inner turmoil, let me get back to the story and back track a little to Texas, despite the fact that my heart hurts and I am completely fucking confused about Sir…… I chose to begin a sexual relationship with Mon Capitaine…..Actually let me take that back…I believe the relationship with Mon Capitaine is based on friendship, companionship, kinship and respect….The sex is a bonus!!!
But I digress….Mon Capitaine is a very attentive and generous lover, quite skilled in the art of inducing an orgasm, in fact he even provided me a coupon which gives the bearer a free orgasm anytime….The best thing about the coupon is that it can be used over and over and over again….bloody good thing the coupon is an electronic version otherwise the paper copy would have been worn away by now from overuse!!! I have to say though at one point I did ask Mon Capitaine where the fuck did he learn to do that?!! …Anyway, the night before leaving for Kentucky I took advantage of the endless use Coupon in Mon Capitaine’s hotel room and I guess we were a little over exuberant because we broke the fucking bed!! I am not shitting you we sure did!!!
Fast forward and now I am in Kentucky….Mon Capitaine is fully aware of “The Rodfather” aka Ry, aka Ky…..Don’t fucking ask me why the name, “The Rodfather” he came up with it, not me….No, no, no!! he does not read my blog, fuck!! he doesn’t even know about it. He thinks these are code names for my dates, so while he does not know about my blog he does know of the journey I have been on. He laughed at KY, Poo Poo’d at RY and came up with “The Rodfather”
“The Rodfather” knows about “Mon Capitaine” and vice versa and they both seem perfectly cool with it but I do have to tell ya all about some uncanny experiences…
I have spent 9 fucking months looking for someone that I can go out and do things with! Have adventures, go to dinner, weekend trips etc but they all fell short….not enough time in their lives, live too far away, only interested in sex, many different reasons why I did not end up with the companionship along with the sex that I had been looking for… but it seems finally that I have found it, not once but twice….One for each State I happen to be spending my time in…….Nine fucking months it took me… the length of a pregnancy….and then fuck me if I did not end up with Twins…..Not literally, but they almost could be, some of the similarities are just to weird for words!!!
I turned up at “The Rodfathers” house on Saturday ready for our “go ape” adventure and bugger me if he was not wearing a pink Coke shirt….I mean really… who wears a pink Coke shirt??? That would be both The Rodfather and Mon Capitaine, I am not shitting you, just the day before Mon Capitaine sent me a picture of him wearing an almost identical pink Coke shirt!! Weird!!
Another oddity!!! They both have a daughter with exactly the same name, would not be so scary if it was a common name but it’s not!! It is one of those names that you are hard pressed to find on a mug, pen or key ring…There are a few more oddities but I don’t want to bore you with details so I will skip directly to the Piece de resistance!!
The Rodfather and I, while engaged in activities which will remain nameless…..Okay we were fucking!!! While we were fucking we broke his bed….I swear to the flying spaghetti monster it is the truth!!! We broke The Rodfathers bed in exactly the same fashion that we Broke Mon Capitaine’s bed!!!…..I have told both the Rodfather and Mon Capitaine of these similarities and quite honestly it is all too fucking funny…..The best thing about their similarities is they are both hot lovers who enjoy spending time with me doing stuff besides fucking!!! I can have my cake and eat it in both the State of Texas and the State of Kentucky!!
Now I hear y’all asking what the hell does all this have to do with Bourbon Balls…..well I am glad you asked!!! Mon Capitaine, being the thoughtful individual that he is had a box of the most delicious chocolates sent to me, not your ordinary department store chocolates!! No!! These came from a chocolatier!! I have to say I was kind of thrown for a loop, honestly nobody had ever sent me a gift before as a gesture to say “I am thinking of you and I hope these make you smile kind of thing”……..Mon Capitaine sent me the chockies because it is the type of person he is but when he sent them I am pretty sure he had no idea what he was buying into at the time and neither did I but I have to tell you…..who the fuck knew a box of chocolates could end up so sensually sexual!!
Ladies!! I seriously just discovered this by accident but if you ever want your men to buy you chocolates when you are out of town follow my lead.!! Firstly make sure they are chocolates filled with a liquid, preferably alcohol. When you eat a chocolate be sure to text the sender of the chocolates a description of your enjoyment of the candy, describe the sensation of popping the chocolate into your warm soft mouth, the feeling of running your tongue around the smooth chocolate shell, feeling it slowly melt. It is also important to describe the moment of eruption, when the chocolate shell breaks and your mouth fills with warm liquid…….A few episodes like that and your man is pretty much guaranteed to send you chocolates anytime you go out of town….fuck he might even send them to you at the office just for the hell of it!!!
I always thought chocolate was better than sex….until I had good sex….now I almost had sex with chocolate!!!