I have had this blog inside of me waiting to come out, in fact it has been begging to be written for a while now but I hesitate because I do not want to come across as vain and conceited, but what the fuck!! I am at a point now where it just bursts to be written on the page and honestly if you think I am vain and conceited so be it!!
Well here goes….Fuck I feel beautiful!!! And sexy, and young and hot!!!
All my life I had felt very plain and ordinary. I never turned heads, nobody ever complimented me on how I looked. I was not the recipient of catcalls even when I was a younger….In fact Terry (bless his heart) often used to give me backhanded compliments. He would compare me to his first wife and comment on how beautiful she was in looks and then he would say that I was beautiful on the inside…..what the fuck!!
So what has changed? Why at the age of 50 do I feel totally and wonderfully beautiful???
Sure I have lost weight, but I did that 5 years ago, and while I felt good and healthy back then I did not feel beautiful….and again, while I received many compliments on how good I looked regarding losing the weight random strangers did not stop me in the street to tell me how beautiful I was.
It still totally mystifies me that I can be walking somewhere….Down the street, in the mall or grocery store, through a Casino, the Vegas strip….pretty much anywhere and random strangers will stop to tell me how beautiful I look….A few weeks ago I went to get my nails done and the girl asked me if I was a model…honestly, I am not shitting you, me!! A fucking model!!!
I am in Vegas right now……A city where you can pretty much wear anything as long as you are not exposing nipples, vaginas or penises….All down the strip are beautiful half naked girls and I mean stunningly beautiful girls. Men can have their eyeful of all the beauty they want in Vegas and yet I am still stopped “frequently” on the Vegas strip by random strangers to tell me how beautiful I look!!!
So what is it? What the fuck happened that all of a sudden at the age of 50 I have been transformed into a beautiful person that turns heads and elicits compliments from random strangers?
I wish I could tell you that I took a magic pill and Voila!! I was beautiful, because then I could fucking sell the pill and make millions….. But alas it was not quite as easy as that……What happened was that “something else” again…..Self esteem!!
Truly it is all down to my self esteem and self confidence……Now I hear some of you saying ” Oh you’re so full of shit” but listen, it really is the absolute truth.
Since I have been on this journey of becoming the person I was always supposed to be my greatest achievement has been the repair of my shattered self esteem how I feel about myself.
I have slowly developed a fashion sense, I have thrown away the granny pants and even if I have no plans of sex I still wear sexy underwear. I mean seriously ladies, you will be fucking amazed at how sexy underwear can make you feel…..Also I rarely leave the house without makeup even if it is just a little bit of lippy…..And I never leave the house without my smile!!!
Truly…. I have mentioned this before but it is amazing what a smile can achieve….I walk around with my head held high and make eye contact often, I smile frequently and freely at others.
Now I cannot tell you which of these things puts me in a place where I am frequently complimented by strangers, but I think it is a combination of all but what I do know is that for the first time in my life…….Fuck I feel beautiful!!!
Now…..wheres my camera…I need another selfie 😛