#AmericanAirlines sucks arse & the Universe is a pre menstrual bitch!!!

Note from Author: That’s me Jad!!! I have done the little hash tag thing for #AmericanAirlines I have no fucking clue what a hashtag means or if it even does anything but I do hope that by hash-tagging them, some poor employee at American Airlines gets to read my sex blog!!! it might just brighten up their day, which they probably need considering they work for such a shitty company!!

This blog is going to be filled with the word FUCK so if you are already offended now is the time to walk away…..seriously, I mean it, there is going to be a lot of fucks and not the nice fucking that y’all know I like to do…..well maybe a little bit of fucking just to lighten the mood….Any way if you can’t be fucked with all the FUCKS then hit the little X button in your top right corner or delete your email….It’s not that hard!!

You’re still with me I see, glad you stayed around!! Are you ready to brave my rant on the Universe and American Airlines??

Let me start with American Airlines…..firstly someone needs to come up with an amazing acronym for American….Delta has one (Doesn’t Ever Leave The Airport)…..it’s not that easy for American, maybe that’s why the long name, they knew they were going to be a shitty airline and did not want anyone to come up with an acronym to express their shittiness!!

This most recent event started with my flight to Kentucky, I arrived at my local airport in plenty of time for the first leg of my trip to Dallas…I say first leg because for some reason, despite the fact that every single fucking UPS package in the world goes through Kentucky, UPS seems to be the only fucking airline that has direct flights and unfortunately unless you are a package you can’t fly UPS!!

So  here I am at the airport waiting for my flight to Dallas and they announce the plane is delayed…What started as a 15 minute delay was updated every 10 to 20 minutes until eventually it was an almost 2 hour delay. This is not the first time I have experienced issues with #AmericanAirlines….. I seriously want to HATE everything about them but it seems they do have some rare decent employees who want to make things easier when the company they work for fucks up “yet again”!! So I cannot hate everything about them because of a positive experience with the dude at gate check (I do not know his name so I will have to just call him dude). Anyway, this dude had to re-book my connecting flight to Louisville because I was not going to make my original flight. When he re-booked me he gave me an awesome seat at the front of the plane, you know, one that you usually have to pay extra dollars for !! One of the nicest things about it was that he did not do it for praise or accolade from me, in fact he did not even tell me he was doing it. He just handed me my new boarding pass and apologized once again for the delays (which I interpreted as “I am sorry I work for such a fucked up shitty airline”.
This #AmericanAirlines fuck up got me into Louisville 4 hours later than my original ETA…..4 fucking hours late for a flight that if taken direct is less than 3 hours WTF!!!

Now this is where the Universe comes into the picture. Most times she can be such a pre menstrual bitch!!! But the Universe also wants balance. Usually, when she gives you absolute fucking shit she will then give you a  shovel to clean up the shit!!

For boring work reasons that nobody really gives a crap about I had to reschedule my flight home to Texas to an earlier date….While peacefully sleeping at 3 am on the morning of updated departure day my dreams were interrupted by my worst nightmare…..A call from my sister!!! No no, don’t get me wrong, I love my sister, but y’all fucking know that a middle of the night call from a sibling (unless they are rude or a drunk or perhaps a rude drunk, which my sister is neither) is never a good thing!! My trepidation was correct and the situation was not good.

My Mum was in the ICU and in a bad way, she was not expected to pull through and was given around a 10% of surviving….Fortunately I was already on my way home to Texas that morning so I did not have to worry about that flight…(the universes balance) but unfortunately I did not have my passport with me so I had to fly from Dallas to my home town so I could pick up my passport only to have to turn around and fucking fly back to Dallas to catch a flight to Australia (fucking universe balance again). Fortunately this gave me the ability to pack warmer clothes for the freezing cold Aussie winter because all I had in my suitcase was summer booty shorts (balance again) but unfortunately this meant I did not have time to get home, pick up my passport  repack and get back to Dallas for the flight out that night so I would be delayed  an entire day getting home to Australia…..More fucking bitch arse universe balance!!!! See what I mean???? Pre-menstrual fucking universe bitch!!!

The bitchy pre-menstrual universe balance is not always a bad thing though!! The most positive effect of not being able to fly out till the next day, is cool, in a weird twisted kind of way….My Sister said the longer she held on the better her chances of survival and when Mum found out I was coming she was holding on for me!!

Another positive universe thing (this is where we get back to the sex blog) is that going home to Texas for the night gave me the opportunity to spend some time with “Mon Capitaine” before flying off to Australia….Now let me tell you….Sex…Really good, mind blowing, bed shaking, orgasmic sex should be fucking hailed as a cure all!! I am not shitting you!!! There is no better thing in this world to relieve stress than a good hard fucking followed by tender kisses and caresses with morning sex the next day thrown in as a  bonus!!
Sex with “Mon Capitaine” has always been incredibly amazing.!! It is uncanny how sexually compatible we are. I also find it absolutely remarkable that “Mon Capitaine” always seems to know exactly what I need, whether it is soft and tender lovemaking or a hard fast fuck, fortunately he is incredibly skilled at both!!

Getting back to the Universe bitch (I know..I know, I only touched on sex, but honestly this blog is about how fucked up #AmericanAirlines is, I promise a more detailed sex blog soon!!)

Post orgasmic and feeling totally relaxed and stress free from my sexual exploits with Mon Capitaine I head to the airport with plenty of time for my flight to Dallas.. I have a 4 hour layover in Dallas before my flight to Australia so I have no concerns about #AmericanAirlines typical delays…….However the balance of the fucking Pre-menstrual bitch universe had different ideas…. Considering I was totally de-stressed from the good fucking I got from “Mon Capitaine” the Universe felt I needed to be distressed from being fucked by #AmericanAirlines!!!!

An announcement that the flight was going to be delayed, again turned into updates every 10 – 20 minutes with continued delays, it was like every time someone came on the loud speaker the flight was delayed more and more….Until my 4 hour window was drastically cut down to “I am barely going to fucking make this flight” The shitty thing about this is that there is only ONE flight to Australia from Dallas each day and if I did not make this flight it would be a whole fucking day to wait for the next flight. I was getting absolutely ZERO fucking help from gate check staff…(where was dude when I needed him)!! I called #Qantas and they were no help at all either, while the lady was absolutely lovely and very sympathetic to my situation she explained they do not have access to #AmericanAirlines systems or their delays and while I booked my flight with #Qantas she said I really needed to get assistance from #AmericanAirlineArseholes!! Universe balance again, the #AmericanAirlines gate check staff were horrible, but when I did ask for a seat right at the front of the plane they gave me the very first seat…I figure this was only because by now it was so late at night most people missed their connections gave up and went home and the plane was fucking almost empty!!

Finally when we boarded the plane, at the suggestion of #Qantas, I explained to the #AmericanAirlines flight attendant that my Mum was seriously ill and that I was urgently trying to get home to Australia…..It was clear I was in distress, I had spent the last 3 plus hours crying and let me tell y’all, I am one hell ugly crier!!!
Again Universe balance, the flight attendant, first officer and co-pilot were fucking amazing, the first officer and co-pilot kept the flight attendant updated on their ETA, she explained to me that they overheard me talking to her and are aware of my situation so they are flying a little faster than they typically would to get me to Dallas quicker. They also arranged for a car to meet me at the gate to get me to my next flight as well as keeping me updated on the status of my Australian flight!! All I can say is Kudos to all 3 of them and it is such a shame they work for such a shitty fucked up company like #AmericanAirlines…..!!

The end result of this battle of the Universe and #AmericanAirlines is that I did manage to make my flight though I have discovered how completely unfit I am from running hell for leather through the airport.
I am currently in Australia, I got off the plane and went directly to the hospital to see my Mum and while she is not totally out of the woods she is doing much better and is in great spirits…..In fact when I told her off for scaring the shit out of me she said it seems she goes to great measures to get me to come visit her!!! The Biatch!!! (lol) I love her really 🙂

As for #AmericanAirlines….I know I seem to have a lot of hostility towards them but justifiably so…..This is just one of many fucked up situations I have had with #AmericanAirlines.  The first one being when Terry had just died and I was trying to get to Chicago, they totally and completely screwed me to the point where I spent several hours on the phone trying to fix their fuck up while still in Illinois trying to deal with the loss of Terry… Let me tell you their customer service department is the fucking worst!!! Zero accountability.
It took a letter to the CEO and a threat to involve social media to get a resolution and then it was just a half hearted attempt to shut me up……So #AmericanAirlines and I have a hate hate relationship….I hate them and I absofuckinglutely hate them!!!

4 thoughts on “#AmericanAirlines sucks arse & the Universe is a pre menstrual bitch!!!

  1. Well, that’s been a wild ride for you! And I understand completely! I’ll drive somewhere before taking American, for all the reasons you have listed out!

    Thanks for tossing in the sex parts! Those are my favorites!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, AA does suck. They are a joke. Out last trip 3 of the 4 flights got delayed. One they took us out to the runway only to sit there 20 minutes then turn around back to the terminal, get off the plane to get on another plane at another terminal only to get there to hear our plane IS ready back to the original plane…and then wait for the family that never heard the message. Never again do I fly AA… Sorry for your misadventure​. You should have stayed where you were at.

    Liked by 1 person

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