So I wrote the below post a few weeks ago and just left it in my drafts. I knew I wanted to say something but I just could not get the words out or get the message across that I was trying to portray. I have read it about 5 times and each time I read it I think “Damn this is fucking lame”!! But you know what? This is me, might not be me at my best but it is still me so what the fuck I am going to post it anyway!! Enjoy! Or not 🙂
I was driving down the road a few weeks back after having bought some fireworks and it occurred to me that it was very possible that it would be the last time in my life I would ever do that… No No, not drive down the road…! Buy fireworks… Seriously!! It is probably the last time I am ever going to buy fireworks… Which is probably a good thing because those fuckers are expensive… Fireworks are really just a fancy way of burning a shit ton of money!!.. Anyway I digress… Buying the fireworks for the last time ever started me thinking of all the things that I am doing that are very likely going to be the last time I do them, for example this will be last time I will celebrate July 4th!!!
I then started to think about all the firsts… There have been so many experiences not just in the last year but since I arrived in America that have been firsts… Some of them have been shitty firsts but on the whole I think I have been really lucky and had a lot of exciting firsts, particularly in this last 12 months…. First date… First oyster (okay not so exciting)… First fantastic fuck!!! I know I know, that was crass but if I did not throw an F bomb here and there you would think an impostor was writing my blog!!!
So when I think about all the first time experiences I am going to have with my bucket list adventures and all my last experiences I am going to have with my final 6 months in America I have to be careful that I don’t get so obsessed with those firsts and lasts that I forget about the middle…. So I hear you saying, what the fuck are you talking about Jad!?!? And to be totally fucking honest with you I really don’t know what I am talking about except to say the next 6 months simply cannot all be about the firsts and lasts, sure these are important!! Incredibly fucking important!! Oh Fuck it!! Let’s be honest!! Who says I have to give a shit about it middle…? The next 6 months are going to be all about what experiences I can manage to cram into the time I have left here and who gives a rats arse if it is a first, last or just another fucking experience… It is all about making the most of EVERY single experience because all of the memories we have and those that we leave behind are created from experiencing and living!!