So in my last blog post I talked about the things that I am going to miss when I go home but what I did not talk about was Mon Capitaine or Louise and MrT!!!! Seriously, where the fuck do I start…? How the fuck do I say goodbye to these 3 people whom have become such an integral part of my life!?!?
Just tell me how do I say goodbye knowing that its possible that I might never see them again?
In the last couple of month’s I had been really busy with work and Louise very busy with her new career endeavors… So busy that we have not been able to get up to our usual mischief… In fact I have actually had comment’s from people on Facebook asking if Louise and I were still friends and messages letting me know that they have missed updates on our “Thelma and Louise” adventures… We still try and get together every week but its usually for a quick lunch or dinner… It has been a long time since “Thelma and Louise” got smashed together.
I think this is the universes way of preparing me for the day when I have to say goodbye to Louise and MrT and let me tell you… It sucks fucking arse!!! I miss Louise, I miss our adventures, I even miss the simple things like casual conversation over a cup of coffee.
Louise and MrT know me in a way that not many do. They helped me through some of my darkest days and they often let me be the 3rd wheel even when I the wheel was wonky. Louise was my safety buddy when I was dating random strangers, often threatening to send the National Guard… But probably the most important aspect of our friendship is that NOT one time ever during my dark days, my growth or my misadventures did Louise or MrT judge me. They offered advice, dragged my arse out when I wallowed and gave me unconditional support and friendship. I love them both dearly and as the days get closer to my return home and I see them less and less often I realize the universe is a bitch and I am going to miss the fuck outta Louise and MrT!!!
And what of Mon Capitaine?!?! I don’t know where to begin and I don’t know how it will end. You see… Mon Capitaine, “I’ve got you under my skin”!
We spend quite a bit of time together, we have even played house, we share exciting adventures and are incredibly sexually compatible… In fact “The Captain” is the epitome of the “Mr impossible” that I was looking for… But… Fuck it if he did not go and get under my skin!!
There are things that have happened during our Semi quasi relationship that I thought would be a barrier to me getting too attached and let me tell you I have been hanging on to them things like a fucking life preserver… For example on one of Mon Capitaine’s sleepovers he went to work in the morning and left his clothes on the floor, I am serious!! He really fuckin did!! I know, I know, you are all sitting there thinking for fuck sake what is the big deal and I know in Mon Capitaine’s defense there were extenuating circumstances, he was over heated and exhausted but even so for me and my OCDs clothes on the floor is a big deal and like I said I was hanging on to that like a fucking life preserver… My inner bitch and I agreed for once!! ” Jad, you can’t get attached to someone who leaves their clothes on the floor”!!. And the ice cream, lets talk about that! In a moment of terrible weaknesses I bought 2 tubs of fancy Gelato ice cream, more calories and fat than I want to put in my body but what the fuck, I was playing house with Mon Capitaine, getting sex every day, sometimes two or three times a day, burning off all those calories so why the hell not treat us both to delicious dessert, and this my readers is where my food phobia comes into play and yet another life preserver!! You see “The Captain” had some Gelato when I was not there, and that is okay, I am a pretty sharing kind of person… except!!! When it comes to sharing dishes, forks, spoons, cups etc… I am doing better, hell previously I would freak out if I thought someone had even breathed on my food but now, under rare circumstances I can manage to take a sip out of the same glass as someone else… Fuck, I have even taken food that someone else had touched which NEVER used to happen but what I have not progressed to is the sharing of utensils, plates and bowls and Mon Capitaine unknowingly committed an OCD sin in the eyes of batshit crazy Jad and ate the Gelato directly out of the tubs and now they have become Mon Capitaines desserts… I know, seriously, we have exchanged all manner of body fluids, spit included but hey, that’s the fubar part of my thinking and that little life preserver that makes me think that I cannot possibly get attached to someone who eats ice cream directly out of the container… But fuck me if my damned life preservers are not working and despite the fact that Mon Capitaine is NOT perfect in every way he somehow managed to get under my skin!!
Mon Capitaine works remotely from his home and for the last week or so I have had a gut feeling that his next contract was not going to be in Texas. I have bought it up in conversation a couple of times but we really did not go into what ifs!
And now the universe is a suck arse bitch because I found out today that “My Captains” next contract looks like its going to be out of State, a 9 hour fucking drive to be exact.!
I am sure the universe thinks it is doing me a favor by slowly weaning me off Louise, MrT and Mon Capitaine but I don’t want to be weaned… I want to spend as much fucking time as possible with them ALL and then just rip that fucking bandaid off on December 10th and let me have the pain all at once!!! FUCKING UNIVERSE SUCK ARSE BITCH!!!