The universe is a suck arse bitch!!!

So…! The suck arse bitch universe actually did it AND she did it in the fucking no nonsense matter of fact style that is usually typical of a man… Sexist of me I know but tell me it’s not true!!! Most women are so fucking dramatic about everything whereas men are just like “ah well, whatever”…Oh unless they get sick, then all bets are off!! Anyway, I digress, I know y’all are just dying to find out what the suck arse bitch universe did this time. Well, she was not satisfied moving Mon Capitaine 9 hours away… Oh no, that was not quite enough space between us so she has moved him 13 hours away!! Official and settled, he leaves  Sunday next week. I know, seriously!!! No time for a porch party, no time for the movie we were going to go see, no time for another Sea world adventure, no time for that restaurant we wanted to try…. Also he is going to be so busy wrapping up his job here in Texas there will probably no time OR energy for wild monkey sex, no time to wallow, just fucking suck it up buttercup…  Here this week, gone next week!

I am really happy for “Mon Capitaine”, truly I am, this is a great opportunity for him career wise, also a great ego boost, the client wanted him specifically and that’s always a fantastic fucking feeling… Just when you think things can’t get better for him, as a bonus he gets to be back in one of his old stomping grounds so for him it is a win- win situation… So while he prefaced his text to me that he had bad news it really wasn’t bad news for him…!

And as for me… Well, while I still think the Universe is a suck arse bitch I cant help but feel that she is trying to look out for me in her own twisted and fucked up kind of way.
You see “The Captain” is under my skin and the more time we spend together the more deeply entrenched he gets.

Limiting our time together is the universes way of easing that fucking band-aid off one painful hair at a time. I know, I know!! I said I wanted that fucking band-aid just ripped off on December 10th but let’s be fucking real here,  I am already going to be dealing with so much loss and adjustment with this huge fucking move that weaning me from Mon Capitaine will be the least painful way to go!!…  So fuck it! I will keep rationalizing and feeding myself all this positive bullshit but seriously, at the end of the day I am going to miss the fuck outta Mon Capitaine!!

My blog would not be true to myself or my readers if I did not admit that I am scared… At 51 years of age I still have not learnt how to be alone!! What I have discovered is that I am not good and it and I don’t like it, which actually makes me even more batshit crazy than I think I am… Seriously, think about it? I never want to marry or live with another man again EVER, yet I don’t know how to be alone… How fucked up is that!!!

I am scared of what these next 4 months are going to be like for me… I am also so fucking done with the online dating world and totally “stick a fork in me I am done” with one night stands and random sex encounters so what the fuck does that leave me with???
I guess getting reacquainted with BoB and trying to learn how to be alone!!!

I think if my job was currently more challenging I would feel more positive about the next few months but truly right now my job sucks arse!!! I am more fucking bored than I was when I worked in a factory making door seals and THAT is saying something!!!

In my usual Batshit crazy style, as I always do when I am feeling down or depressed I used retail therapy yesterday… 300 fucking dollars later I came home laden down with parcels trying to rationalize my purchases but honestly there is no fucking rationalization… I am going  home in FOUR months and I have to pack my life into EIGHT fucking suitcases so if I spend the next FOUR months in retail therapy it is going to be a fucking nightmare trying to pack all my shit into 8 fucking suitcases!! Enough already with the retail therapy JAD!!

At the end of the day, next Sunday I am going to put on a brave face, kiss “The Captain” goodbye and give him a slap on his mighty fine arse!! After that if we do get to see each other again before I go home it will be a bonus!! We may still have our trip to Orlando and our all inclusive vacay to look forward to and while I truly hope we do get to make those trips together anything can happen and honestly nobody knows what each day brings. I mean seriously, what if “The Captain” happens to meet someone in his new town… It would be a little fucking hard to explain me… “Hey honey, I am just going to nip on down to Orlando Florida with this “fun loving, slightly quirky, batshit crazy nymphomaniac” for the weekend” Yep, pretty sure that would go down like a lead fucking balloon!!! So while I hope we get to do those trips I won’t count on them!!

So my friends and readers, give me strength to get through the next 4 months without quadrupling the size of my already too fucking large closet through retail therapy and all will be fine!!

 

15 thoughts on “The universe is a suck arse bitch!!!

  1. I dig how much you swear- I’m gonna Follow you just for that 😊
    Plus I’m 51 too, & love sex, although with men AND women (not at the same time though, that’s too complicated), cheers from Australia, G

    Liked by 2 people

    • I have been in America for 12 years and go home to Australia for good in December. My blog came about because I discovered at the age of 50 the chocolate was NOT better than sex after all…. I have a very long bucket list and considering if experimenting with a woman should be on it!! Oh and my swearing can sometimes be out of control but I make no apologies for it 😛

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Oh I will be sure to choose wisely, I was offered a 3some with one of my ummm (shit, don’t know what the fuck to call them…conquests sounds too lame) oh well. Jstar offered a 3some with some chick he had gotten serious with. She did not want to be with another woman but said she would to please him… I said thanks but um no thanks!!

    Like

  3. So glad you followed me! It’s hard to find brutally honest people these days who say fuck as much as I do without an asterisk. As if the asterisk makes the word fuck any less, the word fuck. I often wonder, hmm. How do readers say “fuck” versus “f*ck” in their heads while they read? Do actually BLEEP out loud in their head? No. They say fuck. So why the fuck do I have to dress it pretty with a little star? I’m
    Not sure how this ended in a rant when I simply wanted to compliment your style but well… this is what I do lol. Hello all the way from Florida!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. While it’s true that the universe is dealing you both a shitty hand, I imagine your captain has similar feelings, and is experiencing the same sense of loss and unfairness you are.

    Give it time. Things will get better for you, Jad…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks Kirk, I still can’t help being scared about what the future holds for me. What I do know is this is the LAST time I am ever starting again, I am sick of buying fucking toasters!!!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s