Not really!! I just needed some way to get your attention!! Although, in the coming months I am going to be sorting out my spare room which has somehow become my closet. During this purge I will be giving away a whole bunch of clothes, shoes, purses and whatnot because even though I can do some amazing shit I am fucked if I can work out how to fit all this crap into into 8 suitcases!!
However, giving away all my shit (for the second time) is not what this blog post is all about, this post is about asking YOU my readers for your help… STOP!! I see your cursor heading towards that X button!! You really should read on, I mean really, how will you ever find out what I need your help with if you don’t continue to read and how will you ever know if I really am going to give away some shit!!?!… So read on my friend, read on!
So here goes, I get a LOT of comments on how much people enjoy my blog, how they like my writing style and how I should I write a book… But you see almost ALL of those comments from people who know me… Y’all are my friends and family so you have to say that shit!!!
I really want to focus on my book in the coming months but it is going to take quite a substantial amount of time not to mention a shit ton of fucking money to get my book up to publishing standards and I really truly don’t want to waste my time or money on a pointless en-devour!!
Let’s be real about this too, I have spent a long time repairing my severely damaged self esteem and I do not want to put myself out there in the form of a book and subject myself to rejection. (which you all know now is my biggest struggle) I personally believe I have a talent for writing, I LOVE to write but realistically most of the feedback and comments I get ARE from people who know me and I really want to use my blog as a testing ground.
What I need is to get traffic to my blog!! I need to use the statistics from the site to determine how many people visit, how many stay by following my blog, how many comments and likes I get… All of this data will help me in determining if it is worth throwing a shit ton of money at my book… So here my readers is how you can help!!! Firstly if you read my blog and happen to like it then please hit the little star button at the bottom of the post to let me know that someone liked it… It is not that hard, honestly takes no more effort that liking a Facebook post except you can like my blog anonymously… Truly, nobody has to know that you read the wacky yet hilarious tales of a fun loving, slightly quirky, batshit crazy self confessed nympho!!
Another thing you can do is share one of my blog entries, if I happen to post one which tickles your fancy and you think your friends or family might enjoy it then there are a whole bunch of little doohickeys at the bottom of each post that you can click on to share in a whole manner of different ways… Probably not going to be anonymous but what the heck, some of my stories are as funny as fuck and worth sharing!! Really, who cares if your 75 year old mother finds out you reading the stories of a once sex deprived 50 something year old!!?
Finally, if you are one of my followers please do me a huge favor… When you get an email with a new blog post click on the title of the post so you can read it from the website instead of reading from the email itself… There are two very good reasons for this, firstly if you read it from the website this will help me with my statistics but secondly and most importantly… As my son will tell you my punctuation and grammar is atrocious… Honestly, it really is. If you can’t tell, I often ramble a bit when I write and I don’t give two fucks on if I should have used a comma, or a period or question mark etc… However as I do have some sense of pride in my writing I often do 2 or 3 edits before I finalize but because I am so often grammatically challenged I end up finding most of my errors AFTER I have hit the publish button so what you end up getting in your email is not the nicely polished version.
So that’s it!! Fucking easy hey? See it is not that hard to help a friend in need??
BUT… If I don’t get 50 fucking likes for this post I am gonna have to go hunting for some new friends… I am just saying!!
Oh… I am truly am going to be giving away a whole bunch of shit but I guess I am gonna do that on Facebook!!!