I regret to inform you of BoB’s demise!!

It’s true, BoB is broke!!

It is funny ya know because I have heard of women saying stuff like “oh I like my vibrator so much better than a man, it NEVER lets me down”.
But I call bullshit on that… BoB has let me down loads of times… I lost count of the amount of times I have been pleasuring myself with BoB when all of a sudden the batteries die, by the time you turn on the light, find the damned fucking batteries and put them in the stupid vibrator you really can’t be arsed anymore so you just fucking roll over and go to sleep… Unsatisfied!!

So picture this, last night in the dark quiet of my bedroom I reached into my dresser and got BoB… My fantasy already created in my head I reached down and… Wait!! what the fuck am I doing.. No, No, don’t picture it…I don’t need you picturing me masturbating for fucks sake, I mean shit everyone masturbates so you all know what the deal is, you don’t need to picture it to get the gist of this story…Fuck!! Let me just cut to the chase I am at critical point with BoB, I mean seriously critical almost point of no return and the little fucker just up and dies on me!! What a fucking anti climax that was!! Literally! So on goes the light, I get my little bag of tricks, pull out some spare batteries load Bob up and then turn him on with some gentle loving words ” work you fucker” !! Seriously, come on you little bastard work!! Nothing, nada, zip!!! Not a peep did he make!!

In utter disgust I threw him back in his bag, turned out my light, pulled my blankets up around my neck, huffed and puffed a little bit. Rolled on my side, huffed some more, rolled on my other side.. Said a few more choice words to BoB which contained several versions of the word fuck, tossed and turned a bit more before I finally went to sleep… I know, I realize I could have finished myself off without BoB but I am a lazy masturbater and honestly can’t be fucked using my hands.
If I was a guy I would probably never masturbate for sheer laziness!! It’s true!

And now BoB is dead, I checked him again this morning and he seems to be beyond repair. So, whats a Bob-less girl to do? Get on Amazon, 2 day shipping and order BoB2, Sunday delivery!! Yes please πŸ™‚

 

42 thoughts on “I regret to inform you of BoB’s demise!!

  1. Well, given that you have a Sunday special delivery, and I know you’ll be dying to try out Roberto Dos, you can limit yourself to a 4 day challenge! But I get to call and listen in!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ahhh, CNN Newsflash reads:

    We are happy to report to all you available men out there that at approximately 11:30pm CDT, Friday, Sept. 29th, BoB, otherwise known as Jad’s Bobbing Pleasure Rod… passed away peacefully. There was no pain; not for him at least. There was, however, outrage and extensive cussing by BoB’s owner, Jad-a-Nympho. She is expected to have an immediate replacement soon, VERY SOON! But in the meantime, all you available super-horny Gentlemen, now is your chance to find your way, not into her bedside drawer, but between her sheets and if your lucky… between her thighs! Go get ‘er Boys!” 😁😈

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lol “picture this”, excellent choice of words… I don’t know how I missed this but since you wrote it 3 days ago I guess Junior has arrived so there’s no real need for me to console you on this loss… But, I’m not gonna lie, as I was reading this, I was sure that it was leading to Bob getting thrown against a bedroom wall and ending up in 1000 pieces. I’m glad that you let him go peacefully

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s