It’s true, BoB is broke!!
It is funny ya know because I have heard of women saying stuff like “oh I like my vibrator so much better than a man, it NEVER lets me down”.
But I call bullshit on that… BoB has let me down loads of times… I lost count of the amount of times I have been pleasuring myself with BoB when all of a sudden the batteries die, by the time you turn on the light, find the damned fucking batteries and put them in the stupid vibrator you really can’t be arsed anymore so you just fucking roll over and go to sleep… Unsatisfied!!
So picture this, last night in the dark quiet of my bedroom I reached into my dresser and got BoB… My fantasy already created in my head I reached down and… Wait!! what the fuck am I doing.. No, No, don’t picture it…I don’t need you picturing me masturbating for fucks sake, I mean shit everyone masturbates so you all know what the deal is, you don’t need to picture it to get the gist of this story…Fuck!! Let me just cut to the chase I am at critical point with BoB, I mean seriously critical almost point of no return and the little fucker just up and dies on me!! What a fucking anti climax that was!! Literally! So on goes the light, I get my little bag of tricks, pull out some spare batteries load Bob up and then turn him on with some gentle loving words ” work you fucker” !! Seriously, come on you little bastard work!! Nothing, nada, zip!!! Not a peep did he make!!
In utter disgust I threw him back in his bag, turned out my light, pulled my blankets up around my neck, huffed and puffed a little bit. Rolled on my side, huffed some more, rolled on my other side.. Said a few more choice words to BoB which contained several versions of the word fuck, tossed and turned a bit more before I finally went to sleep… I know, I realize I could have finished myself off without BoB but I am a lazy masturbater and honestly can’t be fucked using my hands.
If I was a guy I would probably never masturbate for sheer laziness!! It’s true!
And now BoB is dead, I checked him again this morning and he seems to be beyond repair. So, whats a Bob-less girl to do? Get on Amazon, 2 day shipping and order BoB2, Sunday delivery!! Yes please 🙂