Just kidding!! Well not really because technically this cute little cabin in the woods is still my home for another 22 days, 9 hours and 45 minutes!! But who’s counting.
Sorry it has been a while since I blogged, did ya miss me? Please tell me you did or I might be sad, even if you didn’t miss me just fib and make some shit up!!
I really have not had too much to blog about, I mean I went on a road trip for 28 days.
Of those 28 days I spent probably close to 20 nights in Casino hotels in St Louis, Chicago and Oklahoma for FREE!! I am not shitting you, for FREE… Well technically I had to gamble but hell that was no hardship, I did manage to spend maybe around 5 or 6 hundred dollars in the Casinos but what the heck, I consider 20 FREE nights accommodation a pretty good deal in exchange for me having fun spending my money in their Casinos!!
I learnt how to play roulette, I have yet to be brave enough for the blackjack table, I had a really cute hot looking dealer offer to teach me craps but that game looks way to freaking complicated, gambling should be fun and that just looks like fucking hard work.
I ate amazing food, discovered toasted ravioli, OMG where have you been all my life!! Gained 5 lbs which is okay because I honestly thought I had gained around 15 lbs… The extra 5 pounds I can handle, a week of having one meal a day and voila!! gone!!
Oh, I went to Orlando and got my Harry Potter wand, actually it was Dumbledore’s but you know what I meant!! I was pretty devastated that my wand did not get to choose me. That was THE entire reason for going to Orlando was so that my wand could choose me and I so desperately wanted one with a Unicorn tail hair at the core. I found out that they do this little show and then select only ONE person from the audience to have their wand choose them. I am pretty freaking sure they are going to select kids over some 50 something batshit crazy woman so I figured fuck it, I will just go buy a wand like every other muggle which is how I ended up with Dumbledore’s wand!!
Let’s see what else, oh I had sex almost every single day, sometimes two or three times a day!! I have discovered I LOVE being on top the most despite the fact that I have 50 something year old hips trying to do 30 something year old gyrations but what the fuck, you only live once right!! Who cares that in 20 years I am going to need a hip replacement, probably going to need that anyway even without the gyrating sexcapades!!
I can imagine the doctor now with my future 70 year old self!!
Hot sexy DOCTOR: Ms Jad, your hips are worn to the bone, I have never quite seen patterns of wear in the hip sockets like this, can you possibly explain how this happened?
70 year old Jad: Sure Doc, would you like a demonstration 😛
Ah!! another thing, I got totally fucked in the arse by Uncle Sam!! I am not kidding you, with me going home to Australia I was given advice that it would be more beneficial for me to transfer all my funds from the US to Australia which meant cashing in my 401k so with the tax from that and the money I got from my completion of my project I got right royally screwed in the arse and it hurt like a bitch!!
Not only did Uncle Sam rob me blind I also got robbed for real!!
I hate coins, they are as annoying as fuck, but I also have OCD when it comes to coins. When my second hubby was alive I just gave the coins to him and he kept them in a huge water jug, when he cashed them in I think there was 5 or 6 hundred dollars in the jug. After he passed away I started to keep them in jars but with my OCD I have to separate them so I had one for each denomination, Nickles, dimes, pennies and quarters. I got home yesterday and went to put my coins in the jars only to discover they were gone except for the fucking jar of pennies… Seems my jar full of pennies were not good enough for the robber!! I have no clue how much money was there, if I had to guess I would say it was probably between $100 and $300 dollars, the quarter jar was totally completely full!! I don’t care too much about the coins, saved me having to work out what the fuck to do with them when I go home to Australia but it does bother me a LOT that someone was in my house!!
Well after being robbed by Uncle Sam and a burglar I guess I should end this blog on a happy note!! Only 14 more sleeps until I have sex again, YaY, the countdown is on!!
It is probably a good thing I only have to wait 14 days for sex because “Mon Bob” has been renamed to “I am going to pitch you in the fucking trash BoB” If it is entirely possible “Mon BoB” is even worse than Gusto aka BoB junior!! I had to pick my eyeballs up off the ceiling after experimenting with “Mon Bob”
Oh what is a girl to do, going home to Australia “BoB-less!!
Finally one more thing, “The Captain” found this incredible place in St Louis just perfect for a mini photo shoot so I have a whole new slew of blog photos coming up!!
I will post of few full sized ones below for your viewing pleasure 🙂 Or you can poke your eyes out with red hot pokers if it distresses you to see a 50 something slightly quirky, batshit crazy self confessed nympho posing!!!