It’s okay!! I am OKAY!! Really I am OooooKaaay!!

It’s all good, I am “A” OooooKaaay!!
Oh wait? Y’all have no freaking clue what I am talking about!! Doh, sorry it was my Facebook world that was bombarded with posts about my suitcase and shopping adventures!!

Well the least I can do now is give y’all an update…Damn I just LOVE the fuck out of that word, Y’all!! I am going to use it SO MUCH when I get home to Australia they are all gonna think I am a Yank!!

Anyway, suitcases, so here is a story!! I called the airline because I decided there was no fucking way I was going to be able to make 27 pounds weight 9 pounds despite the fact that I do have a “for REAL magic wand” so I asked them how much it would cost if I go overweight with each suitcase, instead of 50 pounds they weigh 70 pounds and the dude told me $75 and my little brain was thinking 20 more pounds for $75 bucks shit I can live with that!! So I said to the dude I have 8 suitcases and if I make them all 70 pounds that is like what $600 bucks or something right and he said why don’t you just pay for more additional suitcases and I am like Chris, I already have 8, I bought the maximum you would let me have. He said you can have more and I am like Chris, your website only let me buy 5 cases and he was like yeah that is online but I can sell you as many as you want!!Β  What, wait, HOW, OMFG!!!

Okay so then Chris had to go “ma’am, Ma’am, Ma’am!! Are you there Ma’am? Well he didn’t really yell Ma’am because they don’t say Ma’am in Australia but he repeatedly called me by my last name MS XXX. I did not answer him right away because I was trying to pick myself up of the floor!! I was like OMG Chris, did you just tell me I can buy as many cases as I want?? Holy crapola he probably should not have told me that!!
I then told Chris that while he was personally responsible for what I was about to do he did in fact make my day so it was all good and I was going to see just how many suitcases can fit into a Rav4 so I would know how many more I can buy.

Before I could TEST load suitcases into my vehicle I had to unpack all those suckers first, no bloody way I was pushing around 50 pound suitcases, besides I decided I really should take a good look at what I packed to make sure I really did need the crap I was packing. After everything was unpacked I loaded up my car and Voila, 9 suitcases all snug as a bug in a rug…!! LOOK!!


Plenty of room for at least Ummm 5 or 6 more… Cripes on a crumpet!!! I was already going to be THAT batshit crazy AusTexican trying to maneuver 8 suitcases through Customs to the transfer gate in Sydney and now I am seriously considering making it 13 or 14 cases, honestly, what the fuck is wrong with me!!!

After unpacking 8 suitcases I had to pack those suckers again and that task required wine and plenty of it. My neighbor came over to help me drink the wineΒ pack, I meant help me pack, but between the two of us we did manage to drink 3 bottles of wine… Oh and someone (not mentioning any names) in her rush to get rid of all her crap gave away ALL of her corkscrews so we had to get creative and hammer the cork into the bottle which meant we actually had to drink the entire bottle after we opened it…True story!!

3 bottles of shared wine and 8 suitcases repacked I fell into bed exhausted!!
Woke up super duper early this morning excited to embark on my adventure… You guessed it SHOPPING!!! I mean fuck!! I have suitcases to fill πŸ˜›

But its okay, I am OKAY… Really truly I am “A” OooooKaaay!!

I have to admit I wasn’t okay for a little bit!! You know the saying “Like a kid in a candy store” Well multiply that by a factor of 20 and that might be somewhat close to the shopping frenzy mode I went into.
It was the most bizarre thing ever, it was like I was possessed, all of a sudden I could buy whatever the fuck I wanted and I did not have to worry about damned suitcase space so I bought fucking EVERYTHING, I am not shitting you I BOUGHT every damned thing I picked up, there is NOTHING left in any store within a 10 miles radius of where I shopped… Okay, alright, maybe I am exaggerating just a little bit but I did go a little crazy, well more batshit crazy that I already am!! I even shopped at Macy’s for fucks sake, I freaking HATE Macy’s overpriced crap!! Actually when I think back to how the shopping frenzy started I was in Macy’s, picture this, I was walking through Macy’s to head to the Fossil store in the mall because that was the fastest route when my eye spotted a SALE sign $9.95, what the fuck, this is MACY’s you cannot get a roll of fucking toilet paper for less than $10 so imagine my surprise to discover a cute top, then another sale rack and another cute top, then a cute dress, and then, oh I love them pants, and what the fuck 70% off holy crap… I fucking spent $180 in Macy’s without even trying!! And thus the madness began, every freaking store I stopped at was a shopping frenzy, I mean seriously I bought shit I just know I am NEVER going to fucking wear… Total damage was just over $700. I did manage to leave the absolutely deliciously sexy Michael Kors heels in the store but fuck it all I am going back tomorrow to take some of this shit back that I am never going to wear and buy those damned $70 sexy arse heels!!




49 thoughts on “It’s okay!! I am OKAY!! Really I am OooooKaaay!!

  1. You will be coming back a week before the Sagittarius new moon. Get ready for summer. With 2 weeks before you leave you should really be leaving no stone unturned in making the most of it. Enjoy and thanks for the chat πŸ˜˜πŸ™‚πŸ˜‡

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You won’t need to buy clothes or shoes for a decade I reckon! As I type here in our lovely home city it is 16 degrees and drizzling. But last week is was hot and muggy. Our weather is all over the place so who knows what the summer will be like. Last 2 have been very out of season with storms, rain, humidity and not much actual hot, dry weather that our state is so famous for. Whatevs. I’m sure you’ll deal πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • I have clothes for ALL seasons, I have 2 suitcases specifically packed for summer so I do not have to go digging through all my cases.
      Ummmm no shopping for a decade, bite your tongue πŸ˜›

      Liked by 2 people

    • I have one incredibly sex bald man plus an awesome friend and her equally awesome hubby accompanying me to the airport in Dallas but in Sydney I am ON my OWN until I flag down someone from the airline to assist me!! The airline have told me I cannot book a person but have assured me someone will help me in Sydney, if they do not I am royally screwed!!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oh are you transferring from Syd to Adelaide? Hope they have as it’s a long trek between international and domestic. I hate Sydney airport. I love Melb so easy international and domestic in the one place.

        Liked by 2 people

      • And the AFP officers who pretty much just make sure no one is parking without paying money to park. Melbourne is great at finding ways to fine people for not having any money.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Yes carpark is extremely expensive. That’s why people just drop their families off and head out. I tend to park to say good bye and usually have to fork out $30 or so

        Liked by 1 person

      • Expensive to train those officers too. A shame that they aren’t better used sometimes. In seriousness though they do seem to have been doing a good job lately in consideration of the massive amount of work to cover including the seemingly meaningless shit to ensure rich people don’t have to share or educate.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel like I read this post at 150 mph! Lmao I could HEAR you NOT breathing as you typed this entire post and were like high off of SHOPPING which I can totally ALWAYS FUCKING relate to and which is part of my post going up
    Tomorrow! I swear I wrote my post before reading this and then I’m like
    OMG shopping Is the ANSWER!!! It is the CURE FOR ALL!!!! Lol. So glad you got the whole suitcase ordeal sorted out!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Ely that is EXACTLY how I wrote this post, at 100 miles per hour!!
      Yes yes, shopping is a magic cure for all! I am excited to read your post!
      I went to bed last night determine to stay home today but when I woke up this morning I am like ummm maybe I can just go to Burlington :O

      Liked by 3 people

    • That my friend is the Million dollar question!!
      I have people helping me in Dallas but when I get to Sydney I have to move them through Customs to the transfer gate which I can assure you is a fucking marathon distance!!
      The airline have assured me someone will help me in Sydney though they will not let me book a person the same way you can book a wheel chair… If they don’t help me I am going to be that batshit crazy pissed off woman moving 13 suitcase on her own.
      Imagine this scenario, the suitcases all lined up. I run to the back of the suitcase train and move that back suitcase to the front, and so on and so on, good thing I booked 4 hours in the airport before my next flight!!

      Liked by 3 people

  4. Yay for Chris being able to sell you more baggage space!!! Sounds like you had so much fun shopping. Ya know, Macy’s usually always has deals like that!! Glad you found some good stuff!! And I lol’d about the wine and your mom “helping you pack” bit

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I took some stuff back to Macy’s, I wasn’t in love with them and I was just in a frenzy!! I still have one suitcase to fill so have more shopping to do but going to do it in a more relaxed manner


  6. Where to start…


    I’m happy that your lovely sense of reason kicked in and you returned the useless crap! Take the money you got back and go find you a new BOB, because those stories are always super fun!

    Kitty suitcase!?! Really!?! Give it to your granddaughter!

    Find Chris. Get his email. Send him dirty pics! Then send ME dirty pics!

    Lastly…cant wait to see you!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I plan on buying those killer Michael Kors heels, you know I just love a sexy heel!!
    Dirty pics huh, pretty sure you have your share of those πŸ˜›
    The countdown is on until Friday “My Captain”!!

    As for BoB, fuck that bastard, I have tried to replace him twice now and both were miserable failures!!

    Liked by 1 person

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