The 12 days of OCD Christmas… As told by “Mon Capitaine”!

This ditty was penned by “Mon Capitaine” himself!!
In my last blog he made the comment below.
Today he sent me screen shots of his hand written ditty which I have dutifully transcribed for you…I still expect him to sing the entire verse while wearing nothing but a Santa hat on Saturday night!!

kirksong

On the first day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: 1 disinfect my suitcase

On the second day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: Pack my first suitcase and clean another one to be packing

On the third day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: Wash all my knickers, clean another suitcase and now it’s making me have 3

On the fourth day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: 4 clean new cases, lots of clean knickers, way too much packing and a new gallon of disinfectant!

On the 5th day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: Five new suitcases
4 that I’ve been packing
3 tons of knickers
2 headaches packing
And a garden sprayer for disinfecting!!

On the 6th day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: 6 tons of clothing
I bought another suitcase
I cleaned them all again
I’m repacking all those bastards
I have too many knickers
And my hands are puckered from all the washing!!

On the 7th day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: I can’t recall if I washed the last 3

On the 8th day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: Dumping all my cases
Washing everything again
6 tons of clothing
I now own EIGHT suitcases
I’m cleaning like a madman
Re-packing all those bastards
Giving away my knickers
And chemical burns from all the washing

On the 9th day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: 9 calls to Qantas

On the 10th day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: 10 headaches from hell
9 more calls to Qantas
8 dumped suitcases
7 tons of clothing I’m washing
6 tons I’m packing
now I have 10 suitcases
I’m drinking while I’m cleaning
I’m out of sexy knickers
I’ve lost my bottle opener
And the chemicals got on my pee pee

On the 11th day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: A shopping trip to buy me more shit.

On the 12th day of Christmas my OCD gave to me: NOT ENOUGH time TO REPACK everything
11 days of shopping
10 headaches from hell
9 calls to Qantas
8 tons of clothing
7 days of washing
6 drunken binges
FIVE TIMES MORE CLOTHES THAN I NEED
4 (x3) suitcases
Lots of brand new knickers
No more wine bottles
And a little fucking car that won’t hold everything!!

This little ditty certainly bought a smile to my face but just so y’all know…ONE can NEVER have TOO many pairs of sexy knickers….and…I do not have a pee pee…Its a VAGINA!!

16 thoughts on “The 12 days of OCD Christmas… As told by “Mon Capitaine”!

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