Okay I gotta tell you some shit that you are not going to believe, I am serious, I can hardly fucking believe it myself. This fucking MOVIE of my LIFE gets more and more surreal as time goes on and I have to wonder if y’all are reading my blog and thinking OMG none of this can be true, this crazy chick is so full of shit her fucking eyes are brown!!! But I swear to you every fucking word is true!! Nobody…not anyone…even with the best imagination in the world can make this shit up and I have to wonder what the next fucking plot twist is going to be because honestly, in a million fucking years I did not expect this latest one!!!
But before I start let me give you a little background!!! Y’all know I experimented a little with 30 shades of grey right? If you don’t then all I can say is what the fuck!? You missed out on some pretty juicy shit and you should do yourself a favor and go back and read them….It is a 4 part series here here here and here …..I know…four fucking parts really!! They are juicy good though…but if you only want to read one or two I suggest maybe reading part 2 and 3!!….To be totally fucking honest with you if you really cannot be arsed to read any of them I will save you some time and say that I like being spanked, in fact I fucking love it!! Not sure If I am into the “spank my arse until I have welts type of spankings” because I have never really tested my limits but spank my arse till its nice and pink and pull my hair and I am in fucking heaven!!
Now another little reminder for y’all….The Jadalicious 66/6 model 2018 instructions as written by Mon Capitaine here has some particular instructions relevant to this current situation
“Should your unit become sullen, it is best to cover the ocular sensors, lean the unit over a sturdy structure (a bed, table, or the back of a sofa seem to work best), remove any protective coverings on the back side of the unit, and deliver a series of firm smacks to its back side, alternating sides. Do this until you feel the unit is operating at peak performance”
So finally we get to the point of what this post is all about….I got this message from Mon Capitaine today informing me that he wanted me to send his next message to the “Pink Panther.
I know that I usually type out conversations but I honestly can’t be arsed today so you will have to deal with screen shots!!
Soooooooo technically he is right, I really have been a total pain in the fucking arse but holy fucking shit it has been a stressful week.!! Besides some really fucking fucked up shit with my job searching (another story) “The Captain” and I had a situation!!
You see!! Mon Capitaine had an unexpected sleepover on Saturday night (his time)…don’t worry my green eyed bitch monster did not come back BUT there was a serious miscommunication.
I knew Captain had a date with the Teach which was why we did not talk that afternoon but I expected he would message me and we would talk for a few minutes before he went to sleep which is what we do every single day!!
So I was shocked when I got this message.
“I’m going to sleep”
I responded with “Hmmmm Okay”
Now Kik shows you when I message has been Delivered and Read and my response to him only showed as Delivered.
I am like thinking what the fuck is up with that!! How is he going to send me a fucked up message like that and not even bother to see if I responded or what!!
I know it might sound really fucking stupid to y’all but our text conversations are deeply important to me. Losing the physical aspect of someone you love is heartbreaking but what keeps me going and pushing on is that we still have our emotional bond and after that time when Mon Capitaine shut down on me when he fucked the “Teach” he promised me he would never shut down on me again, he also promised me that nothing would change between us with the introduction of both the “Teach” and the “Pink Panther” so getting a text like that where for the first time ever we were not going to have our usual chat before he went to sleep left me totally fucking confused, butt hurt and angry, I mean what the fuck!? he could not even take 5 fucking minutes to talk to me before he goes to sleep. I was gutted, really gutted and went into the shower sat on the shower floor and sobbed my heart out. All kinds of things were going through my head and I had this deep urge to just book a fucking flight over there and demand to know what the fuck!!
After getting out the shower 20 to 30 minutes later I check my phone and there was another message from him.
“I’m sorry…. I am sneaking in a Text!! Love you! Tty in the morning!
So now I get it…the “Teach was sleeping over and he could not message me!!
The end result of this was that I told Mon Capitaine that a code word via Kik, text, carrier pigeon, tidal wave, rocket ship Facebook…any fucking means possible is urgently needed to avoid this type of clusterfuck ever again!!
Which is where “Piccadilly” comes from in the next text from the “Pink Panther”which roughly translates to sleepover….Which by the way… Mon Capitaine was not the only person who had a sleep over!! But once again that is another story!!
Shit I have digressed so fucking much, do you need a refresher? I know I do…Go back up there and look at the picture of Mon Capitaine’s text message again just to refresh yourself and then come back down here and FINALLY read the “Pink Panther’s” response!!.
Seriously!!! I mean what the fuck!! Now I am left a hot wet mess waiting for Wednesday night!!
Oh…..And to add one more plot twist!! Mon Capitaine and the Pink Panther have become Facebook friends!! Seriously!! I am not sure if that is fucking awesome or fucking fucked up but for now I am going with fucking awesome!!!