This little fucking bitch called menopause has camped out on my doorstep…She fucking stayed there hanging around banging on my door until I finally let the rotten cow in!!
Now she is here and she just won’t piss off!!
She is fucking with my life and causing all kinds of problems and I want this bitch gone!!
In order to evict this little bitch out of my house I have taken drastic measures….
Yep!! You guess it!! I have a patch on my bum!! I really fucking do….!
Despite the fact that LOADS of people told me NOT to start hormone replacement therapy I went against WMFA (well meaning friends advice) and started HRT!!
Oh no…what are you doing?! HRT can cause cancer!!! Yeah well so can smoking but I still smoked for 30 something fucking years!! I still ate carrots when experts said they were carcinogenics, I still moved back to Australia AND I go outside despite the fact we have a fucking great hole in the ozone layer right above our heads and cancer causing rays are beaming down on me every time I walk out the door… Also I use equal… because the 3 teaspoons of sugar I was having in my coffee
Three five seven times a day was completely over the top especially as everyone kept telling me I was already sweet enough!!
So you see….LOADS of things cause cancer, and car accidents, and adventure accidents, and heart disease, and diabetes and the list goes on and on and on….And if I lived my life worried about something that might never happen then I might as well pack up my shit, move into a nursing home and wait for death!!!
So…I will be fucked if I am going to put up with this little bitch and her awful fucking hot flashes, night sweats, dry vagina and mood swings any longer!!!…give me the fucking patch so I can evict this cow and be done with it!!!
Oh, and as a side note, I tried the HRT cream first…Oh fuck that shit!! That is some messy ish!!! Why on earth I thought shoving cream up my vagina twice a week was going to be a good idea I have no clue, it only took a few goes for me to decide that mess was just not going to work and I pitched that fucking cream in the trash can….well no I didn’t because I paid good money for it and my OCD brain won’t let me pitch it….But I ain’t ever using it again!!!…so now I have patches….for my bum….!!!
I already feel like it is working…I am still getting hot flashes, but my mood feels calmer and I am starting to like MaM again…just a little bit!!
AND While my sex drive did not go away I did feel it dwindle slightly however I am back up to raging pre pubescence teenage boy needs…So it is a bloody good thing that I am getting ready to head to the Pink Panthers den for two days!! Yep…2 whole entire freaking days!!! OMFG I am just freaking out just slightly but I think I am going to be okay because I am promised spankings, sex, spanking,s sex and more sex!!… AND at the end of the day if you take out the sex and the spankings I do enjoy the Pink Panthers company so it should be a fun weekend!!
Finally…. This would not be my blog if there was not some fucked up crazy shit going on so here it is…While I am getting ready for my (2 day sex bonanza) with the Pink Panther, My Captain is getting ready for his 3rd date with MaM with an already established follow up date for the next day… Now I know for an absolute fucking fact that I am having sex a LOT over the next 2 days…. I am hoping that My Captain will be having sex also..over the next 2 days…It is a weird fucking phone conversation when 2 people who love each other are encouraging each other and wishing each other luck with their sex dates with other people!! Honestly, so fucked up that sometimes it feels like it is doing my head in!!!