Holy fuck!! How the freaking hell did this happen?!
In trying to analyse just what the fuck is going on in my batshit crazy brain…cause Y’all know I analyse the fuck out of EVERYTHING…I came to the realization that I just don’t recognize myself…who is this woman and where the fuck did Jad go?!!
I have been feeling my self confidence sliding on a downward spiral sometimes rather rapidly and it has been scaring the fuck out of me!!
And then I realized with absolute horror that I was slipping back into some OLD…very OLD thought patterns and coping mechanisms…I was slowly but surely slipping back into the “Susan” way of thinking and coping with shit!! I am not saying that it is wrong…I get it, I really do!! BUT it is NO longer right for me at this stage in my life… I have worked too fucking hard to go back there and this ends now!!
Below are changes I am making and some daily affirmations, some new and some which helped me on my journey this last year…I just lost the way for a little bit but now feel confident I can get back on track!! I need to get my batshit crazy brain back to a good mental space which will include these daily affirmations as well as making some minor and major changes to my life….Some of which I have mentioned below and some of the bigger ones I will discuss in a blog post sometime later once I have it clear in my head.
- My worth is not defined by my career, I can lead a happy and productive life washing fucking dishes if it comes to it. As long as I give my all to whatever I am doing then I am doing it the “Jad” way!!
- I am 100% responsible for my own happiness. I will not and cannot rely on other people to contribute to my happiness.
- I have no control over the actions, inaction’s, feelings, reactions, honesty or integrity of other people. I can ONLY control my feelings and reactions and how I interact with others.
- I am fully responsible for every word I speak, every decision I make, every action I take. I will own it regardless of any consequences of said acts.
- My heart and soul is a beautiful place. If you get to experience a piece of my heart and soul either in personal, professional or social interactions then you have been to a beautiful place.!
- I am fucking amazing at my job..what ever that ends up being….If I apply for a job or go for an interview and I don’t end up with the job then it is a loss to the company because I fucking ROCK!!
- Anyone working in the Customer service industry in Adelaide that services me in a rude or inappropriate manner needs to “look out”!! I am no longer going meekly sit back and accept shitty service, I didn’t in America and I will no longer do it here. I will confront their attitude or behavior and politely suggest they might want to search for a job where they do not have to interact with people or alternatively suggest they leave their bad day at home!!! If I am feeling generous of nature at the time I might nicely ask if they are having a bad day and see if there is anything I can do to help them!!!
- Commit to 4 hours of exercise per week….Jad!! I do not give a fuck how you make it happen girl but make it happen!! Get your arse down the beach!! To the Gym!! Find some stairs…Do what ever the fuck you have got to do but get your butt back into gear and do the work!!
- No drinking alone!! A glass of wine with dinner for the pleasure and enjoyment of a glass of wine is quite okay but lets not make it a woe is me pity party, one glass of wine is the limit!!! Unless you are getting shit faced drunk with friends…then what the fuck!! Go for it girl!!
- If you want to eat fucking chocolate then freaking EAT the damned fucking chocolate…Stop beating yourself up over it…Go walk an extra 30 minutes if you insist on giving yourself a hard time!!!
- Start to eliminate unhealthy or toxic relationships…Firstly be the communicator, if their responses or reactions do not meet my needs I will either adjust my needs if I can do this and still feel confident the relationship is healthy or I will communicate that my needs are not being met or I will make changes to extract myself from the relationships and allow myself to go through a grieving process… I will accept that it is not me and that not ALL relationships are supposed to last forever!!
- Don’t ever be tempted to wear granny pants!!! Sexy knickers or no knickers at all times!!! Shave those legs, wear those heels, take care with hair and makeup and be the sexy arsed grandma that you know you are!!!
Okay…I think I am done for now!!
I have a few side issues that I need to work on internally but I am confident I can work on this in my usual batshit crazy JAD style!!
Back to Jad!!
Fun loving, slightly quirky, batshit crazy, self confessed nymphomaniac who fucking loves the shit out of life and living!!!
Every fucking day is an adventure!!! Live it!!!
Who wants to come on an adventure with me?!!