So despite my attempt at a positive attitude and my daily affirmations blah blah blah… I still find myself in a “fucked up funk” that I am having a hard time pulling myself out of!!
I had an interview for a job yesterday… it was for an interesting job as an Executive Assistant. Not my usual thing but I figured what the fuck, I have a lot of experience with the admin side of things and felt totally confident I could pull it off…At the interview I discovered the so called executives were glorified “relationship managers” and were a step or two below where I was in the US so once again the job would have been one or two steps down…Still I figured I would still go for it, I mean it sounded like an interesting role and is a government position so my foot would be in the door.
I felt like the interview started off well, my answers to their questions were thoughtful considered and professional…In fact there were times I got the impression I knocked their socks off!! Though truthfully speaking there was only one person in the interview room actually wearing socks…but you know what I mean!!!
Anyway a little over 1/2 way through the interview the entire demeanor and course of the interview changed….I am not shitting you it was like someone farted in the room and everyone was dying to get out!! The last couple of questions were rushed and I was almost literally pushed out of the door.! It was not like the interview went forever and we ran out of time. My interview was at 11:30 am I was pushed out of the door by 11:55 am.
I have gone over and over the interview trying to pin point what I could possibly have done or said to make such a drastic change and can come up with nothing, nada, zilch!! It was seriously fucking weird!! I swear to the flying spaghetti monster that I did not fart, I was wearing deodorant and my breathe was not garlicky…But it surely felt like there was a bad odor they needed out of the room as quickly as possible….My plans at stopping on the way home for a slice of lemon meringue pie and a cup of coffee went out the window…It was all I could do to hold myself together enough for the 40 minute train ride back to my car and when I finally got into “Jads Kitty” the damn busted and I cried buckets.!! Seriously buckets!!! My poor little car flooded and I almost had to call rescue!!
So here I am in a right old fucking funk what with the Mon Capitaine situation and this fucked up job situation and everything else that is piling on top of me when out of the blue I get a phone call….I had an interview last week for a job that was supposed to start on the 17th of April, I think I mentioned it before that I was a group interview and I was WAY over qualified and could probably do the job of their bosses bosses boss but I was also the only one there with ZERO industry experience..Anyway I was supposed to hear back by Friday, Monday at the latest and because I did not hear back I figured I did not get the job…Well fuck me dead it turns out I have been offered the position pending back ground checks..
So why oh fucking why could I not even muster enough enthusiasm to say woohoo!!?..This job is SO fucking far below where I was at in America I would not be surprised if they have me cleaning the fucking toilets on the first day!….Don’t get me wrong, it sounds like an interesting position or I would never have applied but I did not realize HOW entry level it is and also the fact that it is with a recruitment company means that for this government position I technically do not even have my foot in the door….So my friends I have a job…Hawaii accommodation is booked….Mon Capitaine and I are in a better place…. But try as I might I cannot seem to pull myself up out of this fucking awful FUNK!!
I feel so fucking “Bi polar” right now…my highs seem really high and my lows seem really low…I mean WHAT THE FUCK!!!
This is NOT the Jad I have come to know and love and I wish this bitch that has taken over my head would just fuck off!!! Enough already!
The Pink Panther is coming over after work tonight…We had a great weekend together last weekend..He slept over (2) nights with his cubs…Yeah really truly…TWO fucking nights!!..Or do I mean 2 nights fucking…. But anyway… He had his cubs with him so we did not get very much alone time. Tonight he is cubless so we will have plenty of ALONE time….I seriously hope he manages to SPANK this FUNK right out of me because I really need a damn good spanking!!!