Firstly I want to say I am a SHITTY blog friend. I am SO far behind on reading blogs it is ridiculous and I have zero excuse except to say I feel rather time poor and I have so many blogs to read I get overwhelmed by the sheer number so I don’t go into my email but I am going to do better. I have a little over 700 blogs to read to catch up. I am going to make a commitment to read at least 10 per day. I will be doing on the train and it is really hard to comment on my tiny phone so forgive my lack of comments on my catching up, if I hit the like button I have read your blog but my lack of comments is not because I did not have anything to say or that I did not enjoy the read 🙂
Now back to business!!
Okay so it has really happened!!
I am officially a serial dater with NO hope of every meeting my Mr. Impossible!!!
My dating these last couple of weeks have been so disastrous I have decided to compile them into
one, two, three blog posts and updating it after each date and posting as I get a few on my list…..Ya know like a little black book but a little black book of shit arsed dates!!!….Or are they all shit arsed dates??!
So just as an update for y’all recent dating events have made me employ a strict step by step dating regime which involves (1) phone call (2) coffee or wine “meet and greet” in which there is to be NO discussion on if there will be a follow up date. (3) Within a couple of hours of the “meet and greet” a text exchange to discuss if there was mutual chemistry or connection…
Also as a reminder to y’all I am looking for Mr Impossible, a long term relationship with someone that I hope can develop into a deep and meaningful loving and caring relationship without the bounds of marriage.
So with that in mind step into the crazy fucked up world of “Dating Jad”
BillyBoy – Seemed like a really nice guy, intelligent, great sense of humor. The only thing I felt that could be a challenge was distance. During the phone call I heard a noise which sounded like he was lighting up a cigarette. While I have a kissed a smoker before (quite a bit actually) I am not fond of the thought of considering a long term relationship with a smoker but I decided to go against my instincts and go on the “meet and greet”
Protocol with BillyBoy was broken and we had coffee and cake…but not just one cake or even one cake each….no no…we had 5 fucking cakes to share between the two of us!!
Conversation flowed freely, well as best as it could between mouthfuls of cake!! But it seemed clear that there would be a lot of barriers. Distance was one of them. While not horrible, like distance with “The Pink Panther” it would still be a challenge but more importantly the challenge was his lack of energy or drive when it comes to physical activity. I suggested that after the coffee we walk off some of the cakes, he preferred to sit on a park bench and chuff on a few fags while we talked. I knew then that he was not going to be a cohort willing to join me in adventures. Sure he would have cheered me on from the sidelines but I am looking for someone who can push me forward or pass me the ball!!
Mr Thursday – I still owed him dinner, remember?!! Well after much discussion he came down my way…You guessed it “Thursday night”. We had an amazing dinner at a local restaurant in which he finally let me pay. He bought an expensive bottle of wine, fresh apple pie and the most incredible peanut brittle I ever tasted with him for after dinner. We ate some exquisite peanut brittle, drank some wine and then spent a couple of hours soaking my bed. I mean for fucking real he makes me squirt like I never imagined possible, next time I need a serious load of towels or hazmat services for after flooding clean up!! We did manage to talk and the situation is that Mr Thursday is not in a situation in his life right now for a long term committed relationship and while I really enjoy his company he is a “safe person” for me to enter into a “friends with benefits” relationship with. We have chemistry, intelligent conversations and a great connection we have too much differences in our values for us to be something more permanent. So he is aware I am looking for my Mr Impossible but happy for us to mutually fulfill both our physical and intellectual needs while waiting for Mr Impossible to arrive!!
Mr No Longer – So y’all know that despite the fact that he checks off a lot of my boxes and I only check of his “Fuck buddy box” I agreed to go to Sexpo with him. Before going I made sure he understood there would be NO sex. In fact I went as far as “promising” him that there would be NO sex, before, during or after Sexpo. I did this more for him than me. I know how incredibly attracted to him I am so I knew by “promising” him that we would not have sex that I would be able to keep my libido in check….A Promise is something treasured for me, I do not make them lightly. I could not give my kids much of me when they were growing up, with my trying to survive the day to day there honestly was not much left. But the one thing I could give and know I could keep was my promise….. I guess that Mr No Longer does not hold the same values to a promise because he spent the entire time trying to convince me that having sex was a great idea. When I finally told him just what a promise means to me he suggested we skip dinner and I drop him off home. I was not letting him off that easily, I owed him dinner and I was hungry since I had not eaten all day so I insisted we still go to dinner. We had a pleasant enjoyable time but he was still trying to manipulate me into sex.
Once I got home we texted, he knew I was horny as hell and was going to have use my new BoB and after some cajoling I finally agreed to a video sexting. It was mutually satisfying to a point though to be honest with y’all I would have been just as happy to use Bob in the privacy of my bed without an audience….One of the things he suggested was spending a week not texting each other and then getting together the following weekend with no expectations and see how it went…this is with him clearly knowing he is NOT now or never will a potential fuck buddy. I did not expect to ever hear from him again with the weekend almost over I have not!!….I am pretty fucking annoyed that I let myself get sucked into video sexting and I can’t help feeling used but you know what…That’s on me. I am a grown arsed woman and I make my own choices and I could have said no…But I did not so I am just going to have to suck it up and learn from it!!!
DogLover – This dude wanted me to meet him in front of his house and then walk across to the cafe together. I asked him for his last name and address and he said he would give me his address but not his last name…What the fuck dude?! I asked him why and he said I might be a stalker..! “OMG if I was a stalker don’t you think I would stalk “YOUR HOUSE” and you gave me your address” He relented and gave me his last name (which I figured as fake) but I told him I did not feel comfortable meeting him at his house and would meet him at the cafe. Honestly I wanted to cancel the entire date my instincts told me that I should but once again I fucking ignored myself. ZERO connection, forced conversation, awkward silences. He was shocked I was not staying to eat food with him and even more shocked when I declined walking across to his house to say hi to his dogs..! It did not take me long to send a polite “I did not think there was a connection” follow up text message!!
Let it loose – This guy stuck to all the rules, great phone call followed by meeting for a couple of glasses of wine in which he paid for the first round and I paid for the second. Great connection, interesting conversation, reasonable distance, physical attraction…The problem? There were clearly some differences in our lifestyles and interests, one of his regular past times was the local nude beach and while I did not say this to him I kind of feel that a grown man going to a nude beach on his own is a little creepy. I also got some underlying messaging and after further back and forth follow up texting there was a lot of conversation about group sex, swinging, gang bangs etc. I just think he has more kink than I want in my life and have decided not to pursue any further with him..