Fuck Vanilla ice-cream!! I want chocolate, with fudge, sprinkles, strawberries, and glitter!!!

Yes, that’s right….Put fucking glitter on my ice-cream!!!

Are you totally confused….I don’t blame you!! Welcome to my world, I spend a good percentage of my life being confused but let me clarify some shit for y’all!!

“Him” now has a name….sadly it is ” Vanilla kisses”!!

Okay let me back track a little bit. I listened to y’all…I truly fucking did!! From all of your wonderful opinions and insight I decided to hold off from giving “Vanilla kisses” my blog and let me tell you I am so fucking relieved!!

I also listened to y’all and thought fuck it, I am horny, he is horny, Sydney is a long fucking time away, we are both grown arse adults why the freaking heck shouldn’t we fuck if we both want it?!!…..So we did!!

All of this has made me realize that I have to make some serious changes to my “game plan”
Firstly there is NO fucking way I am ever going to give a man my blog to read unless we have fucked first, so my “Open letter to Mr Impossible” has become null and void and I have hidden the post….I wish I could delete it but honestly it would be like deleting part of myself so I have to be satisfied with it being hidden!!

I also think y’all had some great advice so I probably will not show my blog to anyone I am dating unless we become serious with feelings involved and then I will consider it!!. One of the things I was scared of with showing my blog to someone after feelings got all tangled up was the possibility of them  deciding after reading it that I was not the person for them….But  you know what?!! I am taking AWAY that power!! If and when I choose to show someone my blog regardless if feelings are involved or not if they do not see my blog for what it is and accept me…batshit crazy quirks and all…then they are not the right person for me!! I also realized from all y’all’s advice that I am not being dishonest by not showing my blog to people, they are my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences and MY choice to share or not!!!

So what of “Vanilla Kisses”?!!
OMG so we have a great connection when it comes to a lot of interests and lifestyle choices, we can spend hours and hours talking and NOT get bored….But in the bedroom….I got bored!!! I am serious, I really fucking did!!? Me?!! The fun loving, slightly quirky, batshit crazy nympho got freaking bored during sex!!!
Don’t get me wrong, I had my share of orgasms but there was no toe curling, fingernail scratching, back arching passion!!

At first I thought the lack of passion was because he was tentative and apprehensive in respecting my wishes of not being intimate until after Sydney but after spending a night together I realized that while he is a careful, considerate and gentle lover he is Vanilla…And fuck damn I need chocolate, I need hot fudge, and strawberries and glitter, throw me some fucking glitter…I need passion and fire, hard and soft, and wall sex, I fucking need toe curling back scratching wall sex!!

But because we are so compatible in so many other ways I really considered if I could continue a relationship with him for now….Then I realized “crazy bitch” I am not prepared to be anybodies “dofer”  and it would be really shitty of me to expect him to be a “dofer” so I am going to have to break it off with him… I want my Mr. Impossible and I am not going to settle for anything less!!

So I am a little bit a lot nervous about breaking it to him because I am trying to navigate this shit arsed crazy online dating while trying to keep my self esteem in tact and I certainly do not want to fuck with anyone else’s self esteem so I have to find some way of breaking it off with him in a way that he understands it is about sexual compatibility and not anything about him directly!!

I fucking hate this shit!!

I am staying off the dating sites until after Sydney so I am going to have PLENTY of time to catch up on y’all blogs 🙂

34 thoughts on “Fuck Vanilla ice-cream!! I want chocolate, with fudge, sprinkles, strawberries, and glitter!!!

  1. You are so right, I love your blog because it’s honest (yeah, a little cooky as you say, but that’s part of the charm) Who wouldn’t love what you write? It’s a great story. Maybe let Mr Vanilla read this post and he can decide for himself. 😜

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I would wait before breaking anything off just yet. There are a few reasons as to why he could have been vanilla. 1. You are his first since his separation 2. He was nervous 3. He may have felt he was being respectful and 4. He may not have had experience in more passionate, full on, experimental sex. Don’t forget that you needed someone or even a few men to teach you things that you have found to enjoy. Talk to him, ask him if he has any fantasies or things he particularly likes or wants to try. All I am saying you were once like him, bedroom habits and feelings can change.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I get what you are saying and we did have a conversation. He has zero kink of any kind and zero interest in any kink. I do not need full out BDSM in fact I can live without BDSM entirely but I do need that hot electric passion and it just was not there with him. I do not think it is something that cultivates either, it is part of the chemistry.


  3. I don’t see why you need to break it off! Why don’t you tell him what you like/what you want? Show him some porn that you’re into & say “I want to do it like that” & I mean… if he can’t give it to you, then break it off! But at least talk to him about it first!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Can I just say something- I haven’t even read this post yet but I’m posting this comment and then going to read it. I’m
    Sitting in a hospital room and I’m scrolling through a shitload of BORING blog post titles and NOT reading any of them but 1 or 2 written by blog buddies and literally my eyes are involuntarily shutting down and then I’m
    Scrolling and your blog post title SCREAMS AT ME LIKE “FUCK VANILLA ICE CREAM!!! I WANT CHOCOLATE I WANT GLITTER” and it’s like the
    Most REFRESHING, REJUVINATING, slap in the face kind of wake up call and now I’m hyper as fuck and pumped and excited to read this post! WHY CAN EVERYBODY ELSE NOT BE THIS EXCITING AND RAW AND PHENOMENAL!!! Please don’t ever stop writing Jad. You are one of the reasons I keep writing and staying true to myself- you and literally 4 other writers here who have become friends and changed my life. Lol. Ok now
    I’m going back to read this awesome shit-show. Lol!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awww Ely thank you. Firstly why the fuck are you in hospital? Shit I have to get over to your blog and catch up, last I heard you had the fucking chicken pox!! Anyway I hope the blog lived up to your expectations and that you did not fall asleep part way through like I almost fell asleep eating vanilla icecream!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Ok now I’m done. SHIT. Isn’t it crazy that “we can’t have it all”?! But maybe it’s something you can tweak- and TEACH him. Clearly YOU know what you want but you can’t expect a new man to know you from the inside out in bed and to be able to predict the fact that you need fucking fudge and sprinkles and glitter on top?! Give the guy a chance to explore and get to know your body and your ways. I think. Personally? The more a person knows you and the more you can connect on a personal
    Level, the more intense and the more confidence there will be when the time comes to get intimate. Chemistry is instant- it has to be!!! But you don’t walk into a Chem
    Lab for the first time expecting to immediately know where the fucks are the tools are and how to make explosions on the first try. It takes practice and passion and the right touch and getting the right mixes together to get the biggest explosion! lol what a comparison huh?! I’m just saying though. Let the scientist do some research girl!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • OMG Ely I love your analogy but here is the thing!! I am 52 fucking years old and I am not about to teach a 59 year old how to inspire passion and fire in the bedroom…It is not actually the things he did to me because fuck I had my share of orgasms, he certainly knows his way around a woman’s body and knows what feels good. It just was not there for me, you can’t turn vanilla ice-cream into chocolate, sure you can add hot fudge to make it taste chocolately but at the end of the day it is still vanilla ice-cream!!!

      Liked by 2 people

  6. This is how I was with K. Totally enjoyed almost everything with him but the bedroom was boring. I loved to cuddle and sleep with him, but the sex……….blah. Kind of surprised me but hey, who knew?

    I won’t show my blog to anyone I am dating….. They have to find it on their own. lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Improbably impossible!! | Sensuality, Sex & Something else

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