Just who is Jad really??

This is me…Jad! If you have not already guessed it I just recently turned 50. Not sure how the heck it happened but there it is and here I am.
So that you can understand better how someone gets to the age of 50 believing that chocolate was better than sex I thought it would be a good idea to use this ABOUT section to give you a little glimpse into my history…just a glimpse though..this blog is about Sensuality, Sex and Something else…not a horror story!

Firstly I would like to say the below may contain some triggers specifically related to sexual abuse so if these may be an issue for you I suggest you discontinue reading.

So let us begin with my first sexual encounter at around 8 years of age…that was not a spelling error, I was 8. I was actually 5 when I met my molester but he spent the first few years grooming me…He then spent the next 4 years doing things that should never be done to a child. The “inappropriate” touching was only a small part of it. I think the hardest thing is what it does to your mind. There is something to be said for the turmoil that is created in a young mind when your molester is so good at what he does your body betrays you time and again and you are introduced to an orgasm at the tender age of 8.

Fast forward just slightly to aged 12 and I was finally able to break away from my molester  only to jump right in with another inappropriate relationship….my first husband!

I met my husband at aged 13… true! I was 13 and he was 17 and I was oh so ripe for the picking.
Our sexual relationship started not long after we met, a lot of heavy petting and masturbation. I was also shown how to give him oral sex…My first introduction to penetration and intercourse came soon after while I was still 13 years young.
At aged 17 I married my second molester. Now some of  you may say “oh come on, that’s a bit harsh”, but truly it’s not… I was 13 years young and he was 17, he was old enough to drive a car, he was out of school and had a full time job, he should have known better.
To cut a long story short my marriage of 20 years was not a happy one, he was obsessive, abusive and controlling. He was not generous in the bedroom and only interested in his own gratification, on top of that he also had some rather perverted sexual tendencies  which led to some very embarrassing experiences in my life…The only good thing I got out of that marriage was my 3 wonderful children.

One person who was instrumental in helping me to get the courage to leave my first husband was my second husband. It’s just weird how things happen sometimes isn’t it? Strangely enough we met on the internet of all places and through anonymous chat he helped me to understand that I was not property, nobody owned me and that I had the right to say no.

Fast forward to age 38. Newly divorced, I jumped on a plane to meet husband number 2….  Six short weeks later I married the man whom I considered my “rescuer”
We were married for 11 years before he died and while I have no regrets it was not always an easy marriage. He had many health issues and I was his carer pretty much right from the beginning. Our intimate relationship was challenging, we did have intercourse in the early days of our marriage but it was always so difficult and I was concerned about his C.O.P.D. so much that it was not an enjoyable event. At some point our intimacy became a once a week thing of me giving him oral sex while he used a vibrator on me..albeit unsuccessfully!  My husband never knew that I had been responsible for my own orgasms for the past 8 years and he died believing he was an amazing lover. He was a beautiful man with a huge heart and this was a small gift that I could give him.

So there you have it…this is how I woke up one morning aged 50 with the firm belief that Chocolate was way better than sex!!